Sugar Cane

M, our helper, is a very greedy gardener. She is always on the lookout for territory expansion. When she saw the 82 year old lady down the road plant a thriving copse of sugar cane, I was tasked to get sugar cane for planting. This time, I put some effort into it because I know very well that M WILL get her sugar cane whether I get it for her or not. She is very determined, our M.

When she wanted asparagus, I dragged my feet. I told her I did not know where to get. The truth was that I did not even try. One fine day, a Myanmese gentleman appeared and passed her 2 asparagus plants over the gate. When she wanted bottle gourd, I again dragged my feet. Miraculously, she got seeds from goodness knows where!

Then, she looked at me. I felt a little embarrassed because she was so resourceful, and I, with my extensive gardening network on Facebook and a friendship with the Godfather of Exotic Plants (aka Grumpy Alex) was not at half as resourceful. M's spirit and determination made me feel like a wimp. Even though I mostly enjoy being a wimp (because, do you know, people tend to look after wimps... and I like it when my hub and kids look after me), I decided that this time, I needed to rise above my wimpishness before M gave me another smug look.

I asked all the veggie sellers at Chong Pang Market, who did not have sugar cane. Then, I approached the Sugar Cane Auntie and had a conversation:

Me: Can I please buy your sugar cane stems?

Auntie: What for?

Me: To plant in my garden.

Auntie: These won't grow for you.

Me: **mumbling uncomfortably** My maid said it will grow. How much is one stem?

Auntie: $2

Me: I want 4 stems.

Auntie: **opening her box** Ok... pick your stems.

At that point, a whole table full of aunties wanted to know how I was gonna squeeze the juice out on my own. I shyly explained that I wanted to plant them in my garden. All the aunties looked at me and said, "These will not grow for you." At this point,

Sugar Cane Auntie: ** very loudly** I already told her but if she has too much money and wanna buy 4 stems for $8, I am happy to sell her.

I turned and "Hmmmphed!" at her, and got a cheeky smile in return. Then,

Sugar Cane Auntie: Ok lah ok lah, I won't cheat your money. You go over to that old woman selling tropical herbs on the steps there. She will have stems with intact root nodes which will grow for you.

So, that was how I got 4 stems at $2, instead of $8, and made a new friend. This said, I rather suspect that the people in Chong Pang Market  think that I am a sort of bimbo-ish wimp who survives in competitive Singapore solely thanks to a doting husband. You see, I also tried to buy popiah without the skin. I am celiac and popiah skin has gluten but I really wanted to eat popiah. I swear that the hawker's face went through a sequence of indecipherable emotions only to culminate in a very loud, "I sell you the cooked turnip for $5 a box."

When I asked about the taugeh, he yelled, "That one you buy from wet market cheaper lah!"

It was one of those social situations that I could not decipher. So, I shut down, looked unresponsive and walked away. When I do that, I know I look stupid. So, yeah... I am sure the hawkers at Chong Pang think I am dumb.