The English words for autism are "Autistic Spectrum Disorder." That says everything about how the modern world views autism VS how tribal societies view autism. Our modern world thinks of autism as something undesirable and requires a cure. Tribal societies think of autism as a difference with a place in their world.
I recognise that neurotypical people can do things I cannot do. Neurotypicals intuitively get social situations.
Faces and Eyes
When eyes meet eyes, neurotypical faces intuitively do something to acknowledge each other. Till today, I cannot quite fathom what exactly to do, except smile. Consciously, I understand that if I just look at another person with no change in my facial expression, it is rude. So, I smile. Then, I am told that I must not smile at everyone, especially strange men. Then too, when my mind is pre-oocupied, I sometimes forget to activate the smile. In a split second, the other person looks away, thinking I am a snob (and the moment is past for me to make amends). I know what my face must do. I just don't have the immediate reflexes to do it. Also, I may apply the rule I know without nuance. I still have not quite grasped when I should smile at men and when not. You see, sometimes it IS ok (and even desirable) to smile at men I don't really know (or risk looking like a snob).
I have lost potential friends that way. People think I have rejected them when I simply just forgot to instruct my face what to do.
Neurotypical people intuitively know when to look at a person and when not to. I don't. I need to remember to make eye contact because my natural tendancy is to look away from a person's eyes. Again, looking away from someone's eyes can be construed by the other person as a rejection. People think I have rejected them when I simply just forgot to instruct my eyes what to do. Often too, my eyes won't do what I tell them to do... and since the window for the correct facial expression to be shown is so small, the moment is past when I do actually exert control over my eyeballs.
All this language of looks and facial expressions is one that I speak haltingly and with conscious effort. In primary school, the people around me thought I was stupid and dumb. Things went on inside my brain that never made it to my face, nor came out through my mouth. Those looking on thought that nothing went into my brain because they saw nothing come out.
People said I was "slow."
However, there are things that I can do that normal people cannot. My Father and my Brother were stuck on a particular puzzle for more than a day. I took one look and saw the answer. I simply saw the pattern immediately. I remember this incident because my Father was so shocked.
Pattern Finding
Systems thinking comes naturally to me. I can visualise complex conceptual systems and dynamics almost instantly like HERE. Many autistic kids are excellent at pattern finding. We like to map out systems. One child loved the system of drains and canals. He would run around following the flow of water. Many autistic kids are fascinated with transport systems. They know the MRT network by heart.
I am fascinated by psychological systems and dynamics.
This is an advantage in my work as a psychologist. I can visualise family psychological systems and dynamics just as easily. I see family dynamics in a system of levers and balances that allow me to troubleshoot issues as varied as...
- Why a specific child is stealing.
- Why a specific child likes to suck up to Teachers.
- Why a specific child is aggressive.
- Why a specific child pretends to be stupid.
- Why a specific child cannot stop whining.
The above are only symptoms. The underlying family dynamics that lead to the above dysfunctional behaviours are as varied as there are families. Just like a fever can have many different underlying causes.
Once, after teaching a child for a while, I walked up to his parent and asked, "Do you have another child who is a very high achiever in something?" The parent was shocked and wondered how I knew without being told. I knew because the autistic brain is good at pattern finding. People who can see patterns, know what to fill into gaps in patterns. Family systems and dynamics are nothing more than complex patterns. If I see enough to discern the patterns, I know what to put in the gaps that I do not see.
I was one of those children who learnt how to read entirely on her own. Language has very complex patterns, but they are still patterns.
Now, I am learning Chinese. I do so by watching the same drama series 3 to 5 times, paying attention to what I hear and to the Chinese subtitles. Very naturally, my brain has begun to see patterns. If I keep this up long enough, I will be literate in Chinese with very little effort on my part.
Hyperfocus
The autistic's tendancy to hyperfocus often leads to mastery. For a long time, I was hyperfocused on herbs. This played a large part in maintaining the health of my family. We can go for years without seeing a doctor. I was also hyperfocused on psychology. That of course, lead to a PhD and my current field of work. Right now, I am hyperfocused on the ethnographic study of Chong Pang Market. I am not sure what that leads to but I can tell you that I am now friendly with the sugar cane lady and the braised pork guys. Right now, I am also hyperfocused on Chinese language and culture. This can only lead to enlarged vistas of thought and understanding.
Knowledge is never a waste. Whether I am hyperfocused on the ethnographic study of Chong Pang Market or on herbal medicine, good will come from knowing more. The autistic tendancy to hyperfocus practically guarantees the extension of knowledge in one way or another.
Not Disordered, Just Different
So, you see, saying that an autistic person is disordered is just like a giraffe saying that a fish is deformed. A giraffe cannot swim. A fish can. A fish cannot reach the tops of trees. A giraffe can. Neither are deformed. We are just different. The world needs autistic people like me as much as they need people like my daughter who thrives in any and every social situation. We are not lesser. We are not diseased. We are not deformed.
The Famous Autistic Meltdown
True enough, autistic people have meltdowns. I melt down (or shut down) when...
- there is too much social information for me to process
- there are too many smells or touch for me to process
Heading Off Meltdowns and Shutdowns
However, to fault us for having meltdowns or shutdowns is like faulting a fish for gasping for breath when out of water. Since my diagnosis, I have not melted down even once. I make sure that I stay in situations where I do not gasp for breath. I shop when the malls are not crowded. I deliver coaching via email so that I am not overwhelmed by too much social data - facial expressions, gestures, the unsaid. This means I can focus on finding patterns in psychological data.
In instances when I have to enter a situation where I am likely to gasp for breath, I train for it. This is why I don't shy away from Chong Pang Market. A small dose a day every day trains my tolerance. This is no different than a man learning to hold his breath under water for 5 minutes. Yes, I will enter meltdown if I have to work at Chong Pang Market. Yes, a man will drown if kept forcibly under water for 5 hours. However, with training, I can function well in Chong Pang Market. With training, humans can hold their breath underwater for 19 minutes and 30 seconds.
Stress = Misunderstanding
In many instances, parents of autistic children find their children difficult because they don't quite understand what the children need. Once I have translated the needs of these children, things calm down a lot within the home. Having an interface allows each to understand another and once that is achieved, both parent and child are no longer overwhelmed.
Another way of seeing autistic people is that we have different operating systems in our heads. It is like a Mac trying to talk to an android OS without an interface.
Autistic people have no problems interacting with autistic people, you know. If neurotypical people were the minority, and the world were filled with a majority of autistic people, then the group with social "problems" would be neurotypical people. The ones considered "disordered" would also be neurotypical.
Person With Autism
This is why I took exception when the mother of an autistic child told me that I should refer to myself as "person with autism" like "person with flu." Would you refer to yourself as "person with Chinese" (instead of Chinese) or "person with American" (instead of American) or "person with Indian" (instead of Indian) or "person with architecture" (instead of architect) or "person with law" (instead of lawyer) or "person with hawk" (instead of hawker)?
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