The Narcissist's Prayer

Watch THIS first.

Most people have a respect for truth. That is to say that when we tell lies, our heart rate goes up. We don't feel good about telling lies. That is not true about those with narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists can fool lie detector tests because they do not have the same physiological response when they have to tell a lie.

Donald Trump is not my President. So, I take very little interest in him. However, given the relevance of Covid19 to the whole world, one inevitably listens in to Donald Trump's briefs. In the beginning, it was just noise for me.

Increasingly a pattern has begun to form. As the pattern formed, it hit me that this man is a textbook Grandiose Narcissist. So, I thought I would be interesting to feature him for my readers. If you have watched the videolink above, you will notice that Trump does all of the above, in the Narcissist's Prayer.

There is another type of narcissist. This is the Vulnerable Narcissist. This type is very humble, soothing, quiet and vulnerable on the surface but the need for...

- admiration

- constant affirmation

- constant attention is no less

The vulnerable narcissist gets a high from being admired, protected and pitied. He/she will lie her way to that end.

Both types of narcissists enact The Narcissist's Prayer above.

In parent coaching, narcissistic parents are not really interested in learning how to cope better. What they really want is constant affirmation, admiration and attention from me. Such narcissistic parents sabotage all my efforts to help by lying about what they do and have done. Such parents are also incapable of investing the emotional effort into supporting their children emotionally. Instead, they need and crave the emotional support of their children and spouses.

The most heartbreaking cases I encounter are narcissistic parents. In the process of coaching, I am also vulnerable. I also get hurt because I feel the pain of the children, and yet, unless I adopt the children myself and cut off the parent, I cannot shield the children from pain. Narcissistic personality disorder is very resistant to therapy. This is because the persons who get hurt are NOT the narcissist himself.

If you have a narcissist in your life, these books may help : HERE and HERE.

By Theodore Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I think that when all is said and done, these are the words I want to send the Singapore government at a time like this.

Gubak Kia

When God closes a door, he opens another. Instead of my favourite braised pork, I now can indulge in a new favourite! When I first encountered the name and saw the design of the menu, I thought it was Russian food or German food. On closer inspection, they sell good ol' beef noodles with a modern twist.

Watch the video below and drool.

I like it that I can text John Travis Paul directly on Telegram, to order. So thrilled to find that he has Telegram AND Whatsapp! Then, I pay up with Paynow straight into his e-wallet. He arranges the delivery. This means that he saves money. He does not have to give a big cut to the delivery platforms. It is also easier for me to chat with him since there is no face-to-face involved. Autistic people communicate better via text.

Delivery fees are a flat rate of $6.00 for deliveries in a 5km radius from their stall at Timbre+, 73a Ayer Rajah Crescent, $10.00 for 6km to 19km & $13.00 for 20km & above. Text John Travis Paul at 8782 0936.

It was delish (especially the tender onsen egg) and we have enough leftover kway teow to make fried kway teow for dinner tonight.

www.nutritionkitchen.sg

One of the things I am thankful for is www.nutritionkitchen.sg. It is a sort of updated tingkat service presented in a lovely paper box. I order a 1 person breakfast-cum-lunch, which can be shared amongst 3 of us because we all have small appetites. Apparently, the menus are designed by personal trainers. There is a choice of meals for...
- losing weight
- building muscle

We're all into intermittent fasting, as a way to maintain weight and improve immunity. So, we leave the breakfast-cum-lunch for eating at lunch. The boxes are delivered the night before. I need to heat them up. Sometimes, in the re-heating, food textures and flavours change somewhat. However, I like the healthy composition of the meals. I don't want to fatten my curves even as the country flattens the curve.

Dog Toy

My children think Pistachio gets better treatment than they did. I made my kids play with old cardboard boxes, old toilet rolls, unwanted styrofoam boxes, broken printers. I did not buy them toys. It did not make sense to buy them toys. Money was in short supply and they got tired of a toy in 5 minutes. Somehow, they could occupy themselves with old buttons, sticky tape, ice cream sticks and satay sticks for hours.

I spent quite a bit on Pistachio's dog toys. Then, I realised that I should not have. Like my children, Pistachio likes home made toys. Best of all, he likes smelly toys. If there is a pile of laundry on the floor, Pistachio dives in and makes off with all the underwear.

Pistachio is like me. We both like smelling people and things. I must make very clear that I don't smell underwear though. Nonetheless, that observation gave me inspiration for designing a simple toy that Pistachio loves.

It is simply a sock that I fill with all sorts of things - his food snacks, pistachios, bits of hardened beef fat or chicken cartilage. When the sock gets all dirty, I turn it inside out and wash with laundry powder and bleach.

This sock can be used for games of fetch, and even hide and seek. It occupies him as I work. He just sits with it in his paws chewing. I even allow myself to think that it also cleans his teeth of plaque.

Fetch and Give It!

Autism: My Reality

It is not surprising that most people cannot tell that I am autistic. In fact, I did not suspect I was autistic myself, until I discovered that I had an immense chemistry with certain GEP kids whom no one liked. 

Getting myself diagnosed as autistic was the very best thing that happened to me for years. It explained so many things. I actually thought that I was a bad, selfish, inconsiderate, arrogant and sometimes, even evil person.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not be good. For years, I thought that it was a miracle that The Husband picked me to marry. I thought I was so flawed.

For years, I looked forward to Little Boy completing his IB exams, so that I could let go entirely of life. Rather than live a life in futile pursuit of the person I could never become, but wanted to be, I wanted to simply fade into the night. I stayed alive so that my children could become what I would never be. Once they had become that, I had no reason more to exist. I could live on through them.

With the advent of Facebook, it was possible to reach out to autistic adult communities to find my tribe, and feel less alone. I cannot tell you how comforting it was to find the above meme on my Facebook feed. It shows me that I am not alone. Out there, there are many women like me... 

(a) wife, 

(b) mother, 

(c) university-educated, 

(d) non-conventionally employed, 

(e) highly empathetic, 

(f) can be socially graceful when I have learnt the formula or figured out the specific equation for that set of social circumstances,

(g) high anxiety in almost all social circumstances (but I hide it very very well),

(h) forces eye contact (I also do this very well when I am not tired),

(i) good at social masking. (g) and (h) are social masking. 

Face and body language are so intuitive to neurotypical people that it is hard to get them to understand that my friendship is NOT in my smile, nor my eyes. I have learnt to smile and to force eye contact because these mean something to YOU. My friendship and my regard, is seen in my actions. People think that just because I don't look at them nor smile at them, I don't like them. My look and my smile simply tells you that I am not too tired that day, to social mask. This alone causes a lot of hiccups in my interactions with neurotypical people.

No wonder most people don't like me.

Social status is so intuitive to neurotypical people that it is hard to get them to understand that my respect is given to those who think clearly, logically and creatively. My respect is also given to people who do things properly. It really means nothing to me if you are a Minister or not, rich or poor, well-dressed or not. There is an Indian worker who upgraded the drains outside my home and built covers for them. I greet him every morning because I respect the pride he takes in his work. I adore my braised pork boys because they do their braised duck/pork properly and think creatively. This also causes problems when a person believes he/she has high social status but I don't respond accordingly.

No wonder most people don't like me.

The adult autistic communities also taught me that so many of the things that I experience, they experience too:

- gluten intolerance (or celiac disease)

- childhood bedwetting

- suicidal thoughts

- shutdowns (when I become non-responsive)

- meltdowns (when I bite people and break things)

- physical clumsiness

- inability to process auditory stimuli

- sensitivity to smell and noise

- dislike of hard and tight clothes, in fact... the fewer and the softer the clothes, the better

- wear the same clothes every day

- getting distressed from hearing aggressive voices (even in funny videos that only fake aggression)

- being insensitively logical.

The adult autistic communities also taught me to be proud of:

- pattern finding ability (very useful when investing, in teaching and in psychology)

- hyperfocus (mine are in medicinal herbs, psychology and glowing stones)

- showing love through action (not smiles and looks)

- being honest with those I love

- being sincere with those I love

- being high in affective empathy.

No wonder my family adores me, even if the rest of the world dislikes me or finds me weird/odd. In fact, a friend said to me that I have closer and stronger relationships with my children and husband because I have no EQ to hide nor be indirect about difficult issues. Most people use their EQ to hide what is truly what they think from even those closest to them.

I don't know how to be a lovely bouquet of flowers. I guess I am just a durian.

The Humble Mung Bean Soup

Before the TCM retail stores closed, I stocked up on packets of herbal teas. However, it turns out that The Husband does not think much of herbal teas. The Husband swears by green bean soup. So, all the mung beans I had stocked up to grow taugeh with, are now going into green bean soup.

Green bean soup does wonders for The Husband's pimples. I have always wondered why. So, I did a bit of a google today. It turns out that mung beans have vitexin and isovitexin. These have wide range of pharmacological effects, including but not limited to anti-oxidant, anti-cancer, anti-inflammatory, anti-hyperalgesic, and neuroprotective effects. See HERE.

The anti-cancer effects are interesting. I found another study that found that vitexins induce cell apoptosis (cell death of old cells) and in so doing, they suppress tumour growth. See HERE. For The Husband's pimples, I think it has mostly to do with its anti-inflammatory properties.

Besides, mung bean soup with Job's tears (or Coix lacryma-jobi) tastes good!

TCM retail shops should be considered essential services. If all fresh food runs out, dried food is still food!

Jo Teo's Press Conference

Many people were very supportive of Josephine Teo before her press conference. Josephine Teo's press conference seems to raise more questions than it answers. Those who started off supportive became less so after the press conference.

I have one question too.

Since the COVID-19 outbreak, the first thing that we did, was to progressively limit the inflow of workers to minimise the risk of imported cases. We reached out to dormitory operators to be more vigilant. Materials were produced in the workers’ native languages to encourage them to also take steps to protect themselves. Subsequently, non-essential facilities like gyms and tv-rooms were closed. Mealtimes and recreational hours were staggered. Intermixing between blocks was stopped.

- Josephine Teo, 14 April 2020 -

On March 18, 2020, MOM announced that work pass holders must gain MOM approval before coming back to Singapore. Upon arrival they must undergo a stay-home notice. Since home = dormitories, my question is, "Were these returning FW sent back to their dormitories to stay home, or were there already alternative lodgings preemptively made available as at March 18, or even way before?"

This question is important because MOM officials in charge of FW should be familiar with the living conditions of the FW. These officials should have known that if the FW stays home in the dormitories, Covid-19 would spread there unchecked. FW do not stay in small apartments with 4 to 6 people to a home.

Given their living conditions, producing materials in workers' native languages and asking dormitory operators to be more vigilant is simply not enough.

It is easy to blame Mustafa. It is easy to blame mixing on worksites but key to the government's efforts to staunch the spread of the infection are:

- Leave of Absence
- Stay Home Notices
- Quarantine Orders

All these require the subject to stay at home. If home was the dormitory, then these measures do not prevent spread, they encourage spread - at home.

Covid-19: Vascular Health

From today, I am giving The Husband garden grown centella asiatica daily. Even if the research findings are unclear (see HERE), there is no harm in taking small quantities of this herb, as a protective measure against Covid-19, just in case. Let me explain below.

Centella asiatica in a pot.

Centella asiatica dehydrated and blended into a powder.

Centella asiatica in hot water.

This study HERE, reports that in the earlier stages of Covid-19 pneumonia, there is enough gas reaching the blood vessels (or capillaries) inside the lungs. The study further explains that hypoxemia (i.e., low oxygen levels in the blood) is not due to not enough oxygen going into the tiny lung sacs. It is due to poor hypoxic vasoconstriction (i.e., the circulatory system is somehow unable to get the blood to areas of the lungs that are oxygen rich).

The above study was dated 14 April.

On the 17 April, another study HERE, found that the Covid-19 coronavirus attacks the lining of blood vessels all over the body. These findings are consistent with the notion of poor hypoxic vasoconstriction surfaced in the study dated 14 April, no? Since the Covid-19 coronavirus attacks the lining of blood vessels, it causes poor hypoxic vasoconstriction.

It is also widely known that elderly people, people with heart disease and diabetes are more likely to die of Covid19. Men are also more likely to die of Covid19. Young people and children experience Covid19 only mildly. The 17 April study is also consistent with these known facts. Elderly people tend to have more hardening in their arteries and veins. Children and young adults have supple skin, supple arteries, supple veins. Women have oestrogen to keep their skin, arteries and veins supple. Hence, men are more vulnerable to death by Covid-19.

Definitely Came Out of Mommy School!

I used to follow Ho Ching's facebook posts, until the clearly pro-SG govt stance became intolerable for me. So, I unfollowed her and followed Tastemade, as well as Chic & Antique. Then, I saw the above on Mothership.

It is such a heartwarming post, you know. You can hear a mama speaking. This is not one of those irritating, naggy and emo-emo mamas, though. She is lovingly cajoling.

- We may be that asymptomatic case, kan?
- Surely, as the Chinese say - better short pain than long pain, yah?

She is informative and knows so much that is deeply practical (like every graduate of Mommy School). Clearly, this is a woman who has rolled up her sleeves to wash the bathroom sink and the toilet bowl. She knows these parts of the house well, and her planning and her advice take these unglamorous parts of the house into account.

Splatter around basin, brown stain spots... kitchen counter tops got flu virus wor... but don't you go using alcohol to swab you sillies! Because alcohol is flammable and there is fire in your kitchen, ya? Also ah... betadine is not good for pregnant folks so you don't go and be silly and use liberally everywhere hor!

After I am done reading her post, I almost want to smile and say, "Yes, mama! Thank you, mama!"

I tell you, when I ask The Husband why he left a greenish yellow blob in the bathroom sink, he looks at me and says, "Where got? The sink looks so clean to me!"

Men don't even SEE the dirt in the sink, let alone think up ways to disinfect it, and ways to not get hurt from the ways to disinfect the sink. I wonder if Ho Ching's husband is blind to greenish yellow blobs in the bathroom sink.

I really wonder loh.... if she had been Head of State... whether we would be in lockdown now. This said, I am not complaining. I am enjoying this lockdown. The Husband is still working but his hours are a lot more humane now. We almost never had weekends to ourselves. Even on weekends, The Husband was always distracted with a constant stream of emails and whatsapp messages. Not since the times when we were dating have I enjoyed so much of The Husband's undivided attention.

What bliss!

And, my children! The last time we all sat around to play games on my bed was when they were in primary school. The weekend just past was a blast of joy. My children had so many games to propose!

Migrant Workers' Covid19 Mess

No, it is NOT a mess.

Even if it is, it is an organised mess.

We are only a very small country. Yet, I can bet you that all the Indian workers in quarantine are thanking their lucky stars that they are facing Covid19 in Singapore and not in India. In India, they probably would still be in the streets. Some of them cannot even go into lockdown simply because they are homeless and MUST live in the streets.

If they catch Covid19, their chances of surviving here are higher than back home, in India.

新加坡人身在福中不知福

In these dark days, we should be supporting the government. Wait until the sun comes out before you humtum them. Right at this time, they need our love and encouragement to continue the struggle. I have nothing but praise for the Singapore government throughout this.

Sure! They made mistakes. You never make mistakes meh?

They also have the courage to face the mistakes and adjust their approach. This is a never before faced virus. We thought it would be like SARS but it is not. Hence, the containment strategy for SARS did not work entirely well. The Singapore government was nimble enough to adjust course and learn on the fly.

Stop bashing it for...
- not picking up the issue in the workers' dorms early enough...
- the filth of the workers' dorms

Our army boys live in dorms too. However, there is army discipline to ensure hygiene. The only way to keep dorms clean is to have that same sort of discipline. Unless, you think that maids should be deployed to the workers' dorms to clean for them. Come on, if there is no maid service to my son's army barracks and my son has to wash his own clothes by hand in the dorm, why should there be maid service to the workers' dorms?

So, poor Josephine Teo has to get bashed for Indian workers' daily hygiene lapses. To hurl rotten eggs and brickbats at people who are working hard to keep you safe is already ridiculous enough. To hurl rotten eggs at them for what is patently not their fault is simply Trump-like. It is narcissistic and bullying behaviour.

So Many Things Done Right

I realise that I have been very ungracious in the past few blogposts, dissing our testosterone deformed politicians and all manner of military officers. Everyone is experiencing cabin fever. Countries are cloistered together on the same Earth, with leaders accusing each other of hoarding resources like masks and medicine. People are cloistered together in the same country, accusing each other of not wearing masks, wearing masks wrongly, eating out, gathering in groups... and why did the government tell us earlier to NOT mask up? Families are cloistered together in the same house, accusing each other of getting on each others' nerves.

These are trying times, and I think we have the Singapore government to thank for being relatively unscathed.

(1) There was a consciousness that a full on lockdown too early would exact an unnecessarily high cost on the economy. So, the government chose to track, trace and ringfence. No one could have known that...
- this virus presents as mild in 80% of the cases
- this virus spreads on asymptomatic hosts
For a virus as contagious and insidious as this, the results from the track, trace and ringfence approach has been more than commendable.

(2) The moment the spectre of community spread twitched its big toe and looked about to rise and rear its head, we went into a quasi-lockdown. Even so, it is still only a quasi-lockdown, which started with gentle nudging and a slow escalation into firmer steps to deal with only the most recalcitrant among us.

(3) The speed and thoroughness of implementation has been nothing short of lightning quick. Queues to enter Chong Pang Market appeared overnight. The large and bustling fruit stall outside the market was shut down because it had repeatedly failed to enforce social distancing. An urgent whisper spread faster than the coronavirus through the whole market that the fruit stall was 不听话 and now, was not allowed to ply its trade. Whether true or not, the effect of this stall's closure has been to ensure that all other stallholders are now very 听话. My favourite hawkers have barricaded themselves behind stacks of plastic trays so that their clientele cannot approach them within 1 metre. They have now become distant and inaccessible, for their own protection, and mine. Some hawkers got away with wearing spit guards in lieu of masks. Today, everyone is wearing proper surgical masks.

The compliance at Chong Pang Market is total, now. Even the most stubborn of old men have capitulated.

Our government's only mistake is that it is so good that it has cultivated a complacent populace. People keep thinking that the Singapore healthcare would bail them out of their own carelessness. If you know that someone will bail you out, your attitude becomes lackadaisical. Really ah... I tell you... some Singaporeans are so optimistic about our government's ability to pull us through that they think they can ride on its coat-tails and get pulled through without putting in any effort of their own.

- Sneeze into the air.
- Cough into the air.
- Don't wear masks.
- Gather in groups.
- Kiss girlfriend in public.
- Go shopping and eat bak kut teh despite being on SHN.
- Wear spit guards, instead of proper surgical masks.
- Wear masks on the chin.

One ingredient of high motivation is accountability. Singaporeans have transferred the accountability for their own safety to the government. The more they trust the government to keep them safe, the less they are motivated to keep themselves safe.

People caught contravening social distancing rules should be arrested, given a stack of surgical masks and placed in quarantine with Covid19 patients. In such an environment, these same people would hone their ability for self-preservation.

Ok ok... the government did make a booboo by telling folks to NOT wear masks at first. But hor... when you take exam, you always get full marks one meh? Sometimes, when the going gets tough, it is more helpful to celebrate and encourage, than it is to criticise and berate. Even something so small as - people who exercise do not have to mask up - is a matter for heated criticism of the government. Ho Ching's little non-word, "errrrr" also kena flamed.

If you don't like this government and the people in it, change it out. At this moment, it is working harder than hard to protect us all. Let's stop flaming it.

The Benefits of Mommy School

The story goes that a little girl had fallen down and cut herself. Her Mama told her that she had to get the cut washed and disinfected. Her Mama further explained about bacteria and viruses that would make her sick. Impressed, the little girl asked, "Where do you go to learn such things, Mama?"

Absentmindedly, Mama replied, "Don't you know? All Mommies have to attend Mommy school and do well there."

Thoughtfully, the little girl asked again, "What happens if you don't do well in Mommy school?"

The Mama was at a loss for words.

Then, with a bright smile, the little girl exclaimed, "Those who don't do well in Mommy School become Daddies!"

Talking to men about the Covid19 is to vomit blood. All the circulating videos of people who refuse to mask up are of men! A couple of weeks ago, the 4 men at my favourite hawker stall pooh poohed away my concerns, brushing them away like trivialities. I packed masks for The Husband into his briefcase only to find them clean and unused at the end of the day. Like those stubborn men at my favourite hawker stall, The Husband also trivialised my fears and wanted to see the data before, in his words, "over-reacting."

Over-reacting! The Husband said I was over-reacting!

Yesterday night, I casually asked whether we could have prevented community spread and thereby, prevented the Singapore Circuit Breaker if the government policy had been to mask up from Day 1. The Husband vigorously defended the government's measured Wait-And-See response. He maintained that our high numbers of Covid19 were due to the ghetto conditions of the workers' dormitories. He maintained that this was not a problem that mask wearing could resolve. We argued back and forth. I was about to vomit blood when I decided to ask some leading questions.

(1) In your organisation, do people who come in close contact with customers have to mask up compulsorily?

Answer: Yes.

(2) How many of your customer service staff out of a few thousand have Covid19?

Answer: 2.

For a viral disease as contagious as the Covid19 and an organisation where thousands of staff face high volumes customer flow through everyday, to have only 2 cases of Covid19 is not enough evidence that masking works?

Huh? Really?

The thing about men is that they are all testosterone deformed. Click HERE for a detailed write up of this common condition. Men are risk takers. They cannot help it. This is what makes men... men. This is what makes men attractive, but when it comes to fighting a virus, we really need a woman at the helm.

Women will err on the safe side. I hang out mostly with mothers. Even as all of us Mommies sat quietly waiting for government leadership to pronounce its wisdom, all of us were spontaneously taking steps 3 steps beyond what the government specified to keep our families safe. My mommies were already masking up their children when they came for class. I was already masking myself and my facilitators. I bought about 80 cloth masks (of different designs), ready to lend to anyone who steps through my front door, and for every one of us to go through multiple mask changes in one day.

Whilst our husbands were out there making the courageous decisions to be measured and to not over react, us women were wondering why we were not staying 5 steps ahead of the virus rather than tracking it closely and following behind it.

Defense Against Attack
Men's brains are built for attack. Women's brains are built to defend. When it is a virus, the only game is defense. Defenses need to be erected early. You cannot watch to see where the enemy is coming, and then attack it. This enemy moves unseen, and we have no weapon against it. How to attack? How to harness all that testosterone?

Your defenses must already be up, when the virus arrives at the walls.

Men Don't get It
The men don't get it. The Husband does not get it. Men thrive when there are crises. Women prefer a world without crisis. Politicians should be ambi-gendral you know. They should be able to think like men and like women simultaneously. Else, they should listen more to the women politicians or to their own wives. In fact, I think all male politicians should go to Mommy School.

Old Times

The Army practises its version of BCP (Business Continuity Plan) too. They call it OR (Operational Readiness). Since The Son cannot army in camp, he has decided to army at home. All of today, he has gone into a frenzy of cleaning up and organising his room. He is changing his room into the home version of the army barracks.

There is much good to be said about this National Service business! I remember lamenting to The Husband about NS, and throwing a hissy fit whilst suggesting that all of us uproot to Canada so that The Son need not risk life and limb in NS. The Husband stared at me a long while, and then walked off. I think he found my views too idiotic to respond to.

Still, in the midst of his huge clean up, where he threw out a few plastic medals and trophies, he came to me holding reverently in his hands, 4 tattered exercise books. They were his primary school journals. We read them and good memories flooded back of his childhood. We re-lived moments of tenderness and marvelled at how his childish thought processes worked.

Then, The Daughter brought out her Message Book. This was a book I started with her to get her to write out her thoughts. We also read some bits of this book. The Daughter too keeps this book carefully, like a treasure.

If you have primary school children, it is a good idea to get them to journal or to start a Message Book. After they grow up, you will find these books a repository of beautiful memories.

So Adorably Smart!

I have wondered quite often why my favourite hawkers have become my favourite hawkers. Today, I had a moment of epiphany. I like them because they are really really smart!

When the government mandated that all food handlers had to wear masks, I told myself, "Yay! Now those stubborn folks will have to wear masks to protect themselves." However, I still felt bad that they had to work in such hot and humid conditions with mask on. It must be suffocating!

I passed by today and saw them wearing transparent face masks. So smart hor? The government mandated mask wearing. They did not say what type of masks. So, this is what those people came up with.

Every other hawker was sweltering in surgical masks and cloth masks. These resourceful and fast thinking ones wore these nifty little things. My favourite hawkers were the only ones to think out of the box. 

Ok lah... I don't think these masks afford enough protection but I am not the one who has to sweat in a hot and confined space for more than 8 hours a day. Added to that, they aren't allowed to come out of their stalls to mingle with customers either. Before they keel  over from the virus, they might keel over from the heat!

Will I buy from them in this period? No. 

Do I find their intelligence adorable? Yes.

I cannot do much to help. So, I made them liang cha to help with the heat. I also finally understood why I have a soft spot for them. 

Make Educational Reality TV

不见棺材 不流泪

Most people lack imagination. No, really.... More people lack imagination than have it. To imagine a reality that is not yet, is something beyond the average person's capability. This is why we say some people are visionary, and visionaries are paid a lot more than the average person.

It takes a visionary to imagine in 3D surround sound a reality that he/she has never experienced. Mind you, it has nothing to do with IQ. I personally know people in high positions who are unable to imagine what it feels like to suffer a negative consequence until AFTER they have suffered it.

I think it has to do with being a reader. If you are an avid reader, you can convert words into 3D surround sound and feel the experience in your head.

How many of the stubborn old folks can even read?  How imaginative do you think they are? When Lee Hsien Loong launched the Singapore Circuit Breaker, he counted on the common man's ability to imagine what it is like to catch Covid19 in 3D surround sound. Lee Hsien Loong thought that the instinct of self-preservation would kick in and Singaporeans would ownself keep ownself at home. The instinct of self-preservation cannot kick in unless the person can visualise the dire consequences in the first place.

Our government really is too kind. It has given out FOUR different budgets but people don't appreciate. To the old folks at Chong Pang, this is just free money. To some young folks (especially those who hate to read), this is not enough money. Neither group can imagine the Covid19 monster that the PAP government is shielding them from.

There are 2 ways to excite the imagination of people with none.

A) Meet The Natural Consequence
When children stubbornly refuse to heed well-meaning warnings of their parents, I help their parents engineer situations where the children will suffer painful (and not damaging) consequences. However, we are dealing with children. They are young and we owe them an education.

RE: the old folks who are proudly defiant against the government's guidance to mask up and INSIST on gathering in groups, why should they not be allowed to meet the consequences of their own actions? They should simply catch the disease and the disease should be allowed to run its course, whilst that old person is safely sequestered in a dormitory not unlike that meant for foreign workers.

At that ripe old age, you should be made accountable for your own choices. Why should the government offer you top notch healthcare at its cost if YOU were careless to begin with?!

Palliative care should be provided, but no more.

Ok lah... I am bad but not that bad lah... my real suggestions are the following.

B) Show Them A Movie Of The Natural Consequence
Make a reality show of real people with Covid19. Pick 4 people (2 old and 2 young). Video their travails inside the ICU. Make a video of someone undergoing the Covid19 swab test. Blast these videos out.

Excite these folks' imagination a little, because they don't have any.

Else, no amount of setting a good example etc... will help.

C) Spam Them With News of Dead Covid19 People
Don't interview the survivors. Interview those who died.

My Dog Can Talk!

Pistachio said, "Help me!"

Common Sense

From the start, logic told me that even a cloth mask is better than no mask. When I advocated for the use of cloth masks, people looked unconvinced. The research in hospital environments clearly showed that cloth masks were a vector for disease because cloth masks got dirty, and were improperly handled in a high viral load situation. Any tool, improperly used, will have negative consequences. Cloth masks need frequent washing. The cloth traps viral particles. If your hands touch  those particles and then touch your face, you WILL get Covid19.

So, whilst I advocate the use of cloth masks, I also want to stress that cloth masks need to be used correctly. 

People should not depend on the government’s gift of a single mask. They should stock up on their own. Each person should have at least 4 changes of cloth masks. These masks should be kept in a clean plastic bag when clean. Once used, they should be kept in a different plastic bag meant for keeping dirty cloth masks.

Researchers are trained to be sceptical when reading research reports. We know that there are ALWAYS conditions in the real world that are NOT accounted for in research done under experimental conditions. So, one must always use common sense. When I saw how people were liberally sneezing and coughing into the air, it was clear to me that a frequently washed cloth mask was NECESSARY protection. People should think with their own brains, instead of blindly trusting a research report. In theory, if sick people wear masks, well people don’t have to.

Real life is not theoretical.

Real life is full of people who do illogical things - like the old man proudly defiant, standing in the middle of the crowd without his mask. It is losers like that who have done nothing to be proud of in their lives, who find pride in something so ignoble.

I am just gobsmacked that Singaporeans are so unused to thinking for themselves that they only do what they must to protect themselves, and others, when the government tells them to. I approached my favourite hawkers TWICE to get them to wear masks. To me, the logic was clear. Any asymptomatic individual queuing up at their stall could pass one of them the disease. If they too were asymptomatic, imagine how much viral load would land on the food they are selling to hundreds of people a day. This said, I also understand why they don't want to wear masks. Their work environment is hot and humid. Those masks must be so uncomfortable.

Both times, they told me that if they put on masks, it would scare away customers. That is thinking that an autistic person will never understand - the power of appearances. What appears safe, is NOT. I have never been taken in by appearances. A smile means nothing when actions don't back it up. So, I resolved to stay away from any hawker stall where workers were NOT masked. 

Thank goodness the government has stepped in to mandate that all hawkers must be masked. Now, I am concerned with  food delivery. I cannot see whether those in the take away kitchens, are masked. Any food we order in from outside needs to be microwaved before we eat it. I will still drive out to tapau food.

Don’t just obey the government to stay safe. Think and stay safe. Use common sense. 

Nasty Old Folks

Nasty young people grow into nasty old people. No, really! A lot of old folks hang out in Chong Pang Market. Most are normal people. Some are downright nasty. People don't change from nasty to nice when they grow old, you know. Nasty people stay nasty. In my teens, I learnt that just because a man looks old enough to be my grandfather, does not mean he treats me like his grand daughter.

My mother-in-law was critical and intrusive. In her 80s, she is still critical and intrusive, except that I too have grown older, and learnt to be nasty too.

At Chong Pang Market, I sometimes have run-ins with nasty old folks. One old lady kicked Pistachio as he sat quietly under a chair. Another old lady sneezed into my drink and then challenged me to stay at home if I were afraid to die. Yet another old lady yelled at those around her rudely, "Get out of my way!" Again and again, loud mouthed old men like to queue up so near to me that their chests touch my back. In one case, when I placed my trolley behind me to prevent that, the old man came up beside me, shoulder-to-shoulder.

Which part of 1m distance do these people not understand?

As one grows older, one should grow a thicker skin, a softer heart and a wiser brain. Some people grow a thinner skin, a harder heart and triple in stupidity.

With better enforcement, the old folks at Chong Pang Market are now behaving better. There are still the very stubborn ones who proudly wear no mask and diss those who do. Today, I saw 2 people in Chong Pang Market who were not masked. Both wore expressions of proud disdain.

Why? Why are people like that?

Wet Market Social Distancing

We ran out of minced pork. The 2 dogs need quite a bit of minced pork for home cooked meals. So, I had to go to the wet market. It took 1 hr to do what I normally get done in 15 minutes. One had to queue to get inside the market. Since I did not want to queue too often, I bought a lot more than I normally do...

- 8 kgs of minced pork
- 3 kgs of pork belly
- 2 kgs of pork ribs

Thank goodness Fatty likes me. He shared that his supplier only gave him 3 pieces of pork belly, when he ordered 30 pieces. He let me have 1 of the 3 pieces because I am a loyal customer.

Spending Covidity Time Together

Spending Covidity time with Pistachio.

This Covid19 business is not all bad. I actually get to see my family so much more. For once, everyone is home for dinner every day of the week. I never thought I would live to see this happen! I suppose this can cut 2 ways. If relationships at home are bad, April 2020 is going to be hell. If relationships at home are good, April 2020 will be full of warmth and love and affection.

Now that there is community transmission and asymptomatic individuals can spread the virus, I have stopped buying from hawkers who

(1) ... do not mask up...
(2) AND who sell foods that don't take well to re-heating.

This means no more braised duck, crispy pork belly, roast duck, economy rice etc... These are foods that do not taste good once I heat them up again at home. In contrast, yong tau fu, Indian curries, laksa, mutton soup and bak kut teh all taste good even after reheating. As a result, I cook a lot more. So, we eat more healthily.

I have also found ways to ration our foods. It is harder to get organic milk now. So, The Husband and I share 1 cup. This is good because we both need to watch our weight. Instead of buying sugar cane juice for fruit smoothies every day, I bought 14 glasses and froze them. Then, I found that I could make that last 28 days simply by using half a glass of sugar cane juice in each jug of fruit smoothie (for 7 people). We did sometimes find the smoothies too sweet in the past but it had never occurred to me to use half a glass of sugar cane juice and half a glass of plain water to blend the fruits.

Then, I realised that I could get by with 20% less food at every meal. Come on SG people, let's lose weight with Covid19. We can do Zumba classes via live streaming!

It had also never occurred to me to use face masks to prevent flus. I was also never as acutely aware of the dangers of touch transmission. In future, when The Son and The Daughter come home with flu, I will ...
- make them wear masks
- AND also do frequent surface wipe downs
- AND quarantine them in their rooms.

These days, I make everyone wash their hands after handling money or any bags or boxes that have just arrived through the door, and have not been wiped down. Everything I learnt about interrupting disease transmission, I will keep as Standard Operating Procedure for the future.

Then, I moved my English Enrichment online, inventing a stressful game called Online Punctuation Hell which the children love. A bit of danger... a bit of skin in the game... oooooh la la... what thrills! Horror movies are a billion dollar industry. A bit of horror and pain in online education seems to be just the thing to spice up a boring subject. Many kids associate punctuation with parent nagging. So sian! You see, parents are too kind. They don't actually deliver any delicious pain.  I whacked my students left, right and centre... and they begged for more. Perhaps my students are closet masochists. So, in future, after Covid19 blows over, we will play Online Punctuation Hell every 4th week of the month. I like whacking children and the children love being whacked! **Evil laughter**

God is good. No matter what shit happens, God is always good.

A Witch and a Dollar

A student's poem:

I made a deal with a witch today
I don't know why I did
"Don't borrow money from the devil," they say
And I am just a little kid.

The precious purple piece of paper
Escaped my dark blue pocket
It was to fund my food capers
I would be hungry, having lost it.

The witch's face was ashen brown.
Her lair was below the place of books.
She sized me up, then stared me down,
Then, gave me a murderous look.

I asked the witch if I could borrow just a dollar,
She nodded and passed me a coin,
Saying, as she held me by the collar,
"Return the coin tomorrow, or the dead ones you will join."

"Please don't dig into my eye sockets..."
I kept the coin, and said.
I left the lair with a dollar in pocket,
And a deadline over my head.