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Friday, June 18, 2021

The Barking Man

Someone in Chong Pang Market barked at me this morning. No, really. He very literally barked like a dog, at me. I am not sure what to make of it. How does one respond to a barking man? Is he barking a greeting? Or is he insulting me in a foreign language? Should I bark back? Or does one have to meow? Is it rude to simply walk away?

Oh well, it takes all sorts to make the world but I must say that Chong Pang Market has very interesting sorts of people, indeed.

With the uptick in Covid19 cases, I have taken to going back to Chong Pang Market for my weekly groceries. I am behind the curve, I think. The old Covid19 virus survived poorly in hot and humid air. Since our schools are not air-conditioned, this prevented the spread in schools. The B.1.617.2 variant from India, has evolved to spread well in hot and humid conditions, I think. As a result, even our hot and humid  schools and wet markets are no longer safe. 

In our family, only M is not yet vaccinated. Once M is vaccinated, we will not need to be as vigilant about catching the virus, since the vaccine will prevent severe illness. In fact, it might be good to actually catch the virus once every year to boost immunity.


Friday, June 4, 2021

What Pistachio Wants...

 ... Pistachio gets.

My little dog is formidable. Even though I know that dogs come along with distinct personalities, Pistachio really is one of a kind. 


The One With The Seaweed Laver

After dinner, I opened up a packet of seaweed lavers. Pistachio sat in front of me, looking up with those adorable eyes. I was about to give him some when M cleared her throat and mumbled something about too much salt. So, I lured Pistachio out of my room with a sheet of seaweed laver. Then, I closed the door in his face.

He sat outside for a while, staring up at my room door.

For the rest of the evening, he would not let me carry him.


The One With The Pork Ribs

I asked for dinner to be brought up to my room. Pistachio came along with the tray, staring intently at it. Pork ribs fresh from the oven: what's not to like? I did not want to risk offending my dog again. So, I asked M to carry him back downstairs. 

He moped about downstairs, played half-heartedly. Then, he refused to eat his dinner. It had pork ribs in it. It had the same pork ribs that I had eaten earlier. He padded about his food bowl. Then, he flounced down in a depressed heap. M gave up and went to shower. Pistachio sat on the sofa in The Daughter's room, eyes staring fixedly across the doorway at my door.

The Daughter was perplexed at his behaviour. He would not look at her. He did not lie down and relax as he normally does. He sat bolt upright on the edge of the sofa staring daggers at my bedroom door. I heard some discussion outside my door and I came out to investigate. I quickly figured out that my 5 litre dog with a 10 tonne personality was offended again. He was sulking and refusing his dinner because he was mad at me.

So it was that I arranged for M to bring up a small plate with a bit of pork rib. I sat at the coffee table in my bedroom and pretended to eat a 2nd dinner, all whilst handfeeding Pistachio. His tail went up. He started smiling. We then tried inviting him downstairs to finish his own dinner. He followed M halfway down the stairs. Then, he waited.

M brought up his food bowl, placed it under my coffee table and Pistachio ate every bite.

Apparently, Pistachio has decided that the kitchen is no place for a Pistachio to eat dinner. Like me, Pistachio must have dinner upstairs.


The One With M's Room

I had designated a cushion outside my room for Pistachio to lay his weary head at night. It was not long before M secretly smuggled my dog into her bedroom. I threw a fit and said that Pistachio needed to get some discipline. I ordered that Pistachio would be fed nothing if he refused to eat from his bowl in the kitchen.

It turns out that I am no match for my dog. He now eats dinner upstairs everyday AND he believes M's room belongs to him.

How? I mean how? How did I lose to a dog?


The One With The Wrong Duck Rice

A new braised duck rice opened across the road. It was so convenient that I decided to try it out. The real test was Pistachio. When I come home with packets of duck rice from Chuan Kee Boneless Braised Duck, Pistachio paws at me. He licks the bowl clean of every grain of rice from Chuan Kee. The stall opposite did not pass muster. Pistachio sniffed and walked away from his bowl. Then, he laid down on the floor laconically, as if to say, "Don't try and bluff me with this imitation braised duck rice.

Did I say that Chuan Kee Boneless Braised Duck is on the Michelin Bib Gourmand list? How does Pistachio know?


An Imperial Concubine Reincarnated

I cannot help but think that Pistachio must have been some sort of 楊貴妃 in a previous life. He has an affinity for fine food and good living. He also is extraordinary in his determination to charm all the men that walk into the house from The Husband to our muay thai trainer to the Papas that I coach.


Thursday, June 3, 2021

A Wedding Or A Kidnapping?

The Daughter is planning her wedding. I wanted it to be HER wedding. So, I did the unthinkable. I decided NOT to invite MY friends and family. The Husband did the same. Amidst Covid19 conditions, this also seemed the right thing to do.

One of the decisions we had to make was whether or not the groom should come to our house to fetch our daughter. The young couple had decided to dispense with the obstacles and the bribes. It would be a simple tea ceremony at home and the bride would leave with the groom. The Daughter did not want this added step. I commented that it would seem too much like an elopement if this step were done away with too.

That night, our family watched a video on Youtube of a wedding in Zanska: a remote mountain village where winter lasts all of 9 months. Opportunities open to girls are reduced to only 2: get married or become a nun. If you get married, you don't get to choose whom you marry. Your parents choose for you, and often, they know nothing about the temperament and the calibre of the man they have chosen for their daughter. In the lead up to the wedding, girls worry about whether their future husband will hit them, or will be a drunkard, or a useless layabout.

I was horrified.

The marriage deal is struck over a jug of barley beer. A date is set. The groom gathers up a dozen of his best mates, and comes in a posse over the wintry slopes to KIDNAP his bride. The tradition here is to kidnap a bride. I can just imagine how terrified I would be to be carried off on a horse by a party of a dozen men, to a family you have never met.

The groom rides over snowy hills with his posse. Before they can kidnap the bride, they have to clear obstacles, give bribes and meet the challenges set by the bride's friends and family.

That sounds familiar, right?

The Daughter mused, "Now, I understand why Chinese weddings have the groom come with his pals to gatecrash the bride's home, clear obstacles, give bribes and meet the challenges set by the bride's friends and family. It is a diluted version of Kidnap the Bride."

It startled me. 

For a while already, I have been in open rebellion towards all the Confucian crap where men can do everything, and women must obey men, and men's mothers. Chong Pang Market and the toxic masculinity that emanates from that milieu, had me asking fascinating ethnographic questions about how women are viewed in one milieu (the men who work at Chong Pang Market) VS another (the men I grew up with). As long as these remained abstract research questions, I stayed fascinated.

One day, it became all too personal. I was no longer fascinated. I became personally invested, and in no time I made a clear decision. I much prefer the female empowerment I grew up with, than the protected bondage of the men who grew up subconsciously imbibing the worst of the Confucian crap: where men are empowered and women are used/exploited.

After watching the documentary, I made up my mind and told The Daughter, "In the interest of standing up for women's empowerment, you will get to church on your own. The Boyfriend should not come to the house to fetch you. The Boyfriend will make it to church on his own. That will symbolise the full equality that I hope will characterise your marriage. There will be nothing at your wedding that even remotely resembles a KIDNAPPING."

With that, we will all be able to catch an extra 2 hours of sleep on the wedding day! Yay!