To Give Up? Or Stay in the Race?

From a Year Ago

One year ago, E lost a parent. The emotional shock to the family was in seismic proportions. At that time, the grief was such that it seemed to never end. I am not a Grief Counsellor and I was myself too distraught about it to think that I could be in any way, of help. There is a reason why I am not a Grief Counsellor.

The Mother insisted to see me. I was highly anxious but I agreed to chat with The Mother. I allowed myself to cry for 2 hrs before our meeting, in order to be able to NOT cry during the meeting. I did not think I would be of any help if I cried and she cried. There would just be 2 crying messes. 

Thank goodness this Mother understood me enough to not unload her grief onto me. For that, I had recommended another qualified counsellor, specialising in this. Instead, we spoke of how to help her neurodivergent child get through the shock. Neurodivergent people, like me, process grief and loss differently. Heck! We process emotions differently!

From Last Week

My body does not produce enough cortisol. When a human body runs out of cortisol, it will go into an Addisonian crisis. Blood pressure will drop too low and multiple organ failure results. It is fatal.

The past month has held some events which represented stressors that I could not run away from. Normally, I am quite diligent about removing stressors from my life. If client parents are nasty or stressful, I discharge myself. For my own health, I need to do this. I have removed stressful friends. However, some stressors cannot be removed. So, my body received shock after shock after shock in December and January. I collapsed twice into a tired heap and had to take triple dosage of cortisol medicines on some days.

I started to plan to stop work. As soon as those thoughts floated in my head, I received love emails: one every day since Monday. I also found bible verses and bible sermons in my Facebook/TikTok feed.

- See HERE (Sermon on NOT Giving Up)

- See pictures below.

Today, I received the above email from E's parent. It encourages me. It shows me that my work has meaning. It also inspires me because if E can rise up like a phoenix from the raging fires of a parent's death, then I can continue to work. No?

I believe that God will keep His promise to me. He has still use for me. I cannot give up now.

Testimonial 9

 

Testimonial 8

 

The Daughter's Wedding

 

Oh wow... I woke up one morning and found myself old enough to marry off a daughter. The ceremony took place in a small, light filled church infused with a gentle joy. The celebration lunch took place at Candlenut, which was equally joy filled. A wait staff explained to me that Chef Malcolm who helms Candlenut is a kind and caring boss. The wait staff were happy staff: truly happy, not fake happy. There were no slide shows at lunch, no stories about the couple, no long speeches about the couple, no loud music. The Daughter and Her Husband made it all about the guests instead. Each guest received a special handwritten card detailing some salient characteristics about the person. See below M's card, The Husband's card, The Son's card, and mine.

The lunch was supposed to end at 3 pm. When 3 pm came and The Son-in-Law announced that the lunch was ended, nobody got up to leave. They were all having too much fun chilling with their friends at the tables. Apparently, when they were chased out at 5 pm, some folks adjourned to the married couple's apartment to continue to hang out.

This made me glad that I had decided to go completely hands off the wedding. I left it entirely to the couple, and contented myself with giving praise for all their decisions and their choices. The wedding was not just a happy occasion for the couple, it was memorable for the guests who really spent an enjoyable afternoon hanging out with folks they truly love.

Then, from one day to the next, I woke up and realised that The Daughter was well and truly gone from my home. The Daughter had often spent months abroad but we knew that this was her home. Her things stayed in her room. Now, all her things are gone. The room is empty. Her presence at home has left. A spark of joy has left.

However, I look forwards to her bringing home new sparks of joy (i.e., babies) for visits. Wow! It won't be long before I am a Grandma!!

Facing Up to Covid19

 I did not do it on purpose, but I liked the way it turned out.

The Husband and I both left for Europe approximately 2 weeks after our 3rd booster shot. The Husband took 2 Pfizers and 1 Moderna. I took 2 Modernas and 1 Pfizer. By the time we reached Europe, our levels of Covid19 antibodies were the highest they had ever been. So, when In France, we took very few precautions. There was not much social distancing in restaurants. French folks talked, laughed and ate barely 50 cm away from me. In one neighbourhood bistro, they did not even check our Passe Sanitaire (the French TraceTogether app).

I used no hand sanitiser, and it was too cold to keep on washing our hands. Others who were in France with us took pains to wipe down all surfaces in their lodgings. We did not. We marched right into crowded restaurants, ate and chatted, unmasked.

We must have encountered the virus many times. Our high levels of antibodies recognised the pathogen and killed them off before they could reproduce enough to get us sick. To me, it was the equivalent of perhaps the 4th and the 5th and the 6th vaccinations. I wanted to let my body encounter and get real familiar with the Covid19 virus.

The Husband did an ART weekly. I reckoned that if he tested positive, I would also test positive. If he was negative, then I would also be negative. After all, husband and wife are one, no? Hahahahaha! Actually, I was just squeamish about sticking things up my nose.

When we returned, we had to do a PCR test, and daily ART. All tests showed negative results. If the 3rd booster protects against Omicron, then what more 3 shots + several encounters with the virus in the wild?

Once people get the 3rd booster, it is a good idea to further train the body to fight Covid19 by facing up to the virus in the wild. No?

The Tapestry of Bayeux

 

The first time we were in Bretagne, no one wanted to see the Tapestry of Bayeux. The second time we were in Bretagne, no one wanted to see the Tapestry of Bayeux. This time, I insisted to see it.

William the Bastard became King William the Conqueror when he crossed the English Channel and shot King Harold in the eye. I first read about King William the Conqueror in my school history textbook. Back then, I was told that his wife, Queen Matilda, organised her court ladies to embroider a 70m long tapestry of the conquest.

The truth is nowhere so romantic. The piece was commissioned by King William the Conqueror's brother, who despite being a Bishop Odo of Bayeux, also participated in the conquest. He carried a club instead of a sword because men of the church should not carry swords. I don't see how the club is different, though. Instead of cutting people in half, you smash them into a pulp. Same difference, no? The Bishop Odo made monks produce the tapestry.

Once you enter the museum, you are given an audioguide which will tell you the entire story from Frame 1 to Frame End. It is like watching an exciting cartoon. The whole tapestry rationalises the decision to conquer England. Apparently, King Edward of England promised William the Bastard, the throne of England. King Harold usurped William's rightful throne. Hence, William the Bastard had every right to invade England to take what was his. This part of the story was not in my history book. My version of the story was of a jerk who came out of nowhere to subjugate the British Isles.

In essence, the Tapestry of Bayeux is a masterful exercise in propaganda.

Oh well... whatever the truth, this tapestry is almost a 1000 years old. I was thrilled to have seen it till The Husband popped my bubble. He said, "Is this all? The workmanship is crude. In the same time period, the Song Dynasty in China produced finer pieces.

Disbelieving, I went to google. It is true. Chinese embroidery was already very mature in the 11th century. Here is an example of Song Dynasty embroidery produced by women: click HERE.

Electric Blankets Against Dust Mites

I have a dust mite allergy. We iron our mattress regularly, and change bedsheets twice a week. It is hard work. 2 of the AirBnB flats we rented triggered my allergy. By accident, I discovered that electric blankets can reduce dust mite populations very effectively.

We have 2 electric blankets that we use when travelling. Now, I get to use them at home too!

It appears that electric blankets can reduce house dust mite populations in mattresses by 84%. So, those of you whose children have itchy skin, perhaps you can use this to see if the itchiness is linked to dust mites in the mattress.