三姑六婆 Journalism

I have been perplexed for a while at the 三姑六婆 journalism that Christopher Tan has been doing on SMRT CEOs, and how talented he is in finding the SMRT CEOs' chinks in the armour, in order to exploit them for news.

Desmond Kuek's Chink In the Armour
Desmond Kuek's (DK) chink in the armour was his salary. Never mind that DK did not CREATE the problem. Never mind that in his 6 years helming SMRT, DK laid the foundations for the reliability improvements of today. In 6 years, DK rescued what other people had run to the ground in 30 years. I blogged about him HERE. If you read carefully, Christopher Tan's reports were all snidely crafted to ignite popular opinion against DK and his salary.


Excerpt 1
Mr Kuek's remuneration package is also larger than that of Mr Kua Hong Pak, his counterpart at rival transport group ComfortDelGro Corp - a significantly larger company. Last year, Mr Kua, 71, drew between $1.75 million and $2 million - a remuneration band that has not changed in recent years. In its last financial year, ComfortDelGro posted a turnover of $4.05 billion and a profit of $283.5 million, while SMRT recorded a turnover of $1.24 billion and net earnings of $91 million.

...

In a recent interview with The Straits Times, Mr Kuek said: "We have made tremendous progress on many fronts... but there is much more to be done to improve rail reliability."

Excerpt from HERE.

The above report made it sound like Desmond Kuek was trying to justify why his own salary was higher than Kua Hong Pak's. Only careful readers would ask, "What exactly was the question asked in that vague "recent interview" when Mr Kuek responded, "We have made tremendous progress on many fronts... but there is much more to be done to improve rail reliability."

Such sneaky strategies to cast DK as an incompetent villain were often employed in Christopher Tan's reports. No wonder the whole country hates DK. Poor DK.


Neo Kian Hong's Chink In the Armour
Apparently, Neo Kian Hong's chink in the armour is his "inability" to keep long time and high performing staff.

Excerpt 2
In the past 8 months, about 30 executives in the Temasek-owned company's human resources (HR) department have quit. 2 senior engineers have also resigned.

Excerpt from HERE.

Many of us have worked in corporate environments before. It really is quite normal, when the boss changes, to have some sort of turnover. However, turnover in the HR Dept is not as damaging to SMRT as turnover in the engineering corps. So, Christopher Tan made it a point to state that 2 senior engineers have also resigned.

Questions are:
How many senior engineers does SMRT have? What is the actual percentage of turnover in 8 months? How does this percentage compare with other companies? Many of us not only have worked in corporate environments before, we have also managed people. We are familiar with these metrics of staff turnover. So, when information is provided like this "2 senior engineers have also resigned," we wonder why the facts given were incomplete. Was it that hard to find out the total number of senior engineers in order to report the percentage turnover of engineers in 8 months? Or was the percentage turnover so reasonable that it simply makes Neo Kian Hong look more incompetent if the report read "2 senior engineers have also resigned."

Excerpt 3
More management changes are afoot at rail operator SMRT Corp, which witnessed a spate of resignations in recent months.

Excerpt from HERE.

Implication: The incompetent Neo Kian Hong cannot keep staff. Oh my... what kind of paper general cannot command loyalty of new troops, huh?

Excerpt 4
SMRT Trains chief executive Lee Ling Wee is expected to relinquish his post, and is currently working to hand over his duties to Lam Sheau Kai...

...

"... another veteran, Ms Dawn Low... is also expected to leave. Ms. Low served under Desmond Kuek and his predecessor, Ms Saw Phaik Hwa. Ms. Low served under former SMRT Corp chief executive Desmond Kuek and his predecssor, Ms. Saw Phaik Hwa. Ms. Low helped to build up SMRT's retail arm, which eventually became the group's single biggest income earner.

... 30 HR executives... exodus..."

Excerpt from HERE.

Implication: The incompetent Neo Kian Hong cannot keep good staff like Ms. Dawn Low, who brought in so much money for SMRT. And, OMG... he also cannot keep the chief engineer who has helped bring rail reliability to what it is today! Call himself a general! What kind of paper general cannot inspire good soldiers to stay!? Huh!? Come on fellow Singaporeans. Go online and heap abuse on Neo Kian Hong's incompetent generalship.

Note the emotionally loaded terms:
(1) exodus (à la Moses and the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt... so poor thing hor... slavery leh...)
(2) spate (synonymous with flood, deluge, flurry... wah... deluge leh...)

The most laughable thing is that Christopher Tan was so EAGER to set fire to Neo Kian Hong's reputation that he really became a 三姑六婆. He neglected to check facts, and hurried with fan aflutter and greasy lips quivering, to spread the salacious news.

It turns out that Lee Ling Wee and Dawn Low did not resign. See HERE.

Apparently, Lee Ling Wee was not available for comment, but surely the HR Head, Tan Kian Heong (whom the 三姑六婆 did actually manage to talk to and quote) could have answered Yes/No to the question, "Has Lee Ling Wee tendered his resignation?" No HR Head can lie in answer to such a question because time will show whether Lee Ling Wee has really tendered or not. Wait 1 month or 3 and you will know.

Facts don't matter to 三姑六婆 journalism. The 三姑六婆 merely wants to stir shit, titillate readers and create buzz in the village square. Sooooo exciting hor!? So, what did this 三姑六婆 do? He cited some vague "people close to [Lee Ling Wee]" who said that [Lee Ling Wee] is likely to leave once Mr. Lam is ready to assume the helm.

Which person close to [Lee Ling Wee]? The 三姑六婆 heard it from whom? The kopi soh? The cleaner? The night guard? Don't underestimate the kopi soh, the cleaners and such honest folk, you know. They go places no one goes and see things no one sees. I am sure my domestic helper at home knows stuff about me that I don't want people to know! The last time The Straits Times was able to report on a nationally extremely important monitor lizard in the SMRT train depot, they relied on information given by honest folk like these.

It pains my heart to see good men publicly destroyed by sleaze balls who don't come right out and say what they mean and mean what they say. Instead, they hide behind nasty innuendos hidden between
- incomplete factual statements (2 senior engineers out of how many resigned?)
- erroneous facts (Lee Ling Wee and Dawn Low resigned)

This type of reporting is not only poor quality, it is potentially damaging to KPIs. What if... what if... what if... Lee Ling Wee had some minor disagreement with Neo Kian Hong and were a vindictive person. Such reporting serves to signal to him that he CAN harm his boss by resigning. It's like a man had a tiff with his wife, and then runs into a temptress. Then, what if... what if... what if... after Lee Ling Wee resigns, something goes wrong in SMRT. Whose fault? Neo Kian Hong chased away Lee Ling Wee. It is Neo Kian Hong's fault. What if... what if... what if... the instability introduced by such staff turnover resulted in fatality?

Wah! More fuel to burn Neo Kian Hong with. What was simply a minor work disagreement escalates into a national scandal with one man to blame - the paper general Neo Kian Hong, who does not know how to command the loyalty of good staff.

That is the kind of thing 三姑六婆 people want to see. They stir shit, destroy relationships, turn people against each other. It is biblically wrong and God sees what is happening. If you are Buddhist, then darling... note that karma can be a bitch.

James 3: 5-6

5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Journalists are tongues which can be used to redress injustice or perpetuate injustice. Thanks to this 三姑六婆's reporting, a great fire arose in the hearts of the Singaporean people unfairly against Desmond Kuek.

To Neo Kian Hong: your reputation has managed to narrowly escape one pyromanic episode. Maybe you should quit before similar 三姑六婆 reporting fans another great fire to consume you as it did Desmond Kuek. And then what? Who will helm SMRT, huh? Are the interests of Singaporean commuters really best served when one SMRT CEO after another is enthusiastically burned at the stake?

To the ruling party in government: this type of gratuitous anger fanned by innuendo, using incomplete or erroneous facts disseminated by the national broadsheet does not just damage SMRT. The populace sees SMRT as an extension of the government. The common man in the street does not buy into the differentiation between SMRT and the government. Any flames fanned gratuitously against the SMRT CEO will lick at the edges of the government and burn you in slow but sure degrees.

On the surface, the only casualty is the SMRT CEO. Under the surface, it is the government's own credibility that is cast into doubt by such 三姑六婆 journalism.

It is one thing if full facts (and responsible journalism) show both Desmond Kuek and Neo Kian Hong to be incompetent villains. Then, the government gets burnt for good reason. It is another when half facts, WRONG facts ALLUDE to them as incompetent villains and spark unnecessary flames. Surely, you can see the covert damage this 三姑六婆 is doing to the PAP too.

Eye Contact and Autistic Empathy

I do not like looking into other people's eyes. Autistic people are like that. See HERE. There is a reason for it and I think it has to do with autistic empathy. I was not able to find any research studying this link between eye contact and autistic empathy so readers need to think critically about what I write in this post.

There is a common misconception that autistic people have no empathy. Thanks to Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, the whole world now thinks that autistic people do not have empathy. That is not true.

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There are 3 types of empathy. Source HERE.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand how a person feels and what they might be thinking. Cognitive empathy makes us better communicators, because it helps us relay information in a way that best reaches the other person.

Emotional empathy (also known as affective empathy) is the ability to share the feelings of another person. Some have described it as "your pain in my heart." This type of empathy helps you build emotional connections with others.

Compassionate empathy (also known as empathic concern) goes beyond simply understanding others and sharing their feelings: it actually moves us to take action, to help however we can.

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Practical Emotional Empathy

Emotional empathy works via mirror neurons.

A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another. Thus, the neuron "mirrors" the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting. Such neurons have been directly observed in primate species. Birds have been shown to have imitative resonance behaviors and neurological evidence suggests the presence of some form of mirroring system.  In humans, brain activity consistent with that of mirror neurons has been found in the premotor cortex, the supplementary motor area, the primary somatosensory cortex and the inferior parietal cortex.

Source HERE.

When I look into another person's eyes and see anger, the mirror neurons in my brain fire anger. If I see love in your eyes, my mirror neurons fire love. If I see irritation in your eyes, my mirror neurons fire irritation. What I see in your eyes, I actually feel. Autistic empathy works a bit like a transducer. We pick up and amplify the feelings reflected in someone else's eyes. The problem is that we have no way of understanding where these feelings come from. They are not OUR feelings. They belong to someone else who himself/herself understands why and from where his/her feelings come from. This inability to make sense of what we are feeling makes us uncomfortable and thus, we would rather NOT make eye contact at all.

It does not help that the autistic brain is hyperconnected in the amygdala region. This means that there are more synapses and more dendritic mass in our amygdalas, than in a normal brain. Whatever you are feeling, we feel it MORE... much MORE. We just cannot make sense of it. Now, YOU imagine someone yelling at you in a language you do not understand.

Imagine yourself looking into a pair of eyes that pulse lust, and amplify that feeling inside yourself X 3. Imagine next that these feelings are not yours but you cannot stop them from flooding you, nor do you even understand why you feel them. Now, do you understand the sheer panic some of us feel when we look into someone else's eyes?

Of course, I have been deliberately provocative in using lust as an example. I want neurotypicals to understand the extreme distress caused by the emotional transfer. Anger, irritation, hate, interest... these are no less overwhelming when they do not belong to you. Too much of this and you are looking at the famous autistic meltdown. In the grip of an autistic meltdown, I have actually even bitten The Husband on his arm.

Personally, I am only comfortable making eye contact with little babies. Their eyes are clean of those disturbing emotions that I can pick up, but cannot make sense of. Babies' eyes only communicate curiosity about the world. I like feeling wide-eyed wonder again.

Of course, at my age, I have become an expert in masking. I have 3 ways to pretend that I am making eye contact:

(1) I look at your nose and mouth.

(2) I take off my glasses. Without my glasses, I can see nothing. If I look in the direction of where your eyes are, you think I am looking at your eyes but none of my mirror neurons fire because I actually see nothing at all.

(3) If I am rested and alert, I can force myself to look into your eyes and fight the mirror neurons. However, nearer the end of the day, if I am tired, this is something I find impossible to do. I just want to NOT look at you at all.

Practical Compassionate Empathy

Many autistic people become social activists. Click here for one. Personally, I went on a warpath in the years 2010 to 2012 to push for changes to the education system, driven by compassionate empathy for overworked children and children from disadvantaged homes.

Non-Existent Cognitive Empathy

I have very little cognitive empathy. I cannot read faces and immediately understand what they are feeling and thinking. I need time to figure it out. Yes, I literally FEEL what these faces tell me to feel but I don't understand what I am feeling. That scares me and makes me uncomfortable. If you want to get through to an autistic person, be explicit in naming what you are feeling. This helps us to assign what you feel (and therefore what we also feel) to something meaningful. If you are not explicit then I am just going to avoid looking at you, because my own feelings that mirror yours, scare me shitless.

More damagingly to my social relationships, I cannot read hints. When The Husband first tried to date me, he asked me to go out for a coffee. My response to him was, "I don't drink coffee. I drink milk." It is my life's greatest blessing that The Husband did not give up on me right then and there. It is a miracle that I have a doting husband. Many autistic men are single and lonely. Many autistic women are sexually exploited. If you want to make friends with an autistic person, do not drop hints. We will not understand.

Even more damaging to my social relationships, I cannot project what is offensive or not until AFTER I have put my foot in it - like HERE. It is hard for me to reason out a priori how people will feel when I do or say certain things. I am just grateful that I have a few friends who look past my awkwardness and accept me as I am. These friends are so precious to me that thinking of them makes me cry. All neurotypical people have to do to get through to me is to explain. I will ask forgiveness for my rudeness.

Accumulated Learning

For people like me, scenario accumulation is very important. In my socio-emotional classes, I break down for low EQ children, scenarios that I myself have previously encountered and analysed. This is something that neurotypical people cannot do, because neurotypical people do NOT have to analyse such things. They intuit these things. I do not. I need to slowly reason it through.

It is a little like someone who is gifted in Mathematics who cannot explain how to solve a certain equation. He just knows. This was the case of Srinivasan Ramanujan. Click HERE. He had huge problems detailing his working. He intuited his solutions. 

Most people need to break down Mathematics into parts and solve. 

Emotionally, this is what I have to do and know how to do and can therefore explain to kids, in the hope of shortcutting their learning process. I do that in the same way I am doing the breakdown and analysis in this blogpost.

People who cannot intuit Math can get quite good in Math too, right? People who cannot intuit emotions can get quite good at them too, right? That is my hope for all the little kids who are like what I once was, except that I can now show them the way.

Oh! Turf Wars!

Workers' Party

People's Action Party

I saw men in blue today at the Chong Pang Market. They gave me a newsletter and I happily paid $1 for it because we all know that the Workers' Party is not rolling in money.

Then, I saw men (and women) in white with the PAP logo. They gave me a name card pouch but I did not have to pay for it. Then, I took a photo of the wrong PAP man. The man in white looked like an MP so I took a picture of him.

See that lovely smile?

I did not know that the actual PAP MP is dressed in red. So, I shook the wrong man's hand. Then, the man in red asked me why I took a picture of the man in white and not him. I got a bit confused so I smiled brightly at the handsome man in red and said, "Because the other man is more handsome than you."

I mean, the red man was clearly younger and more handsome mah... so I did not think he would believe me... but I think I offended the poor man. So, Mr Louis Ng, please rest assured that you really ARE the more handsome one. Aiya... now I worry that when I blog this, I will offend Mr Louis Ng's wife. You just CANNOT please everyone, but I suppose MPs from the PAP already know this.

Handsome or not does not matter. Louis Ng's work with ACRES is something that already earns respect. Respect is better than attractiveness anytime, no?

So there! I hope I am forgiven.

When You See No Way Out

We all have these moments when we fight against our lot in life. My moment came 16 years ago when I realised how much my children needed me to stay home with them. The Daughter was a snotty nosed little girl with a perpetual scowl. She was always whining that we did not love her. The Son was Grandma's pet and he had no attachment to anyone but Grandma. The Son has a strong personality and he entered into direct conflict with his Father (also a strong personality) rather too often. The Daughter hated The Son who proceeded to punch his sister whenever he could. I fought with Grandma, who fought with the maid, who complained to me.

What is a family if no one is happy?

With such fraught relationships, no one could excel. The Husband could not. I could not. The kids could not. Achievements require emotional investment. If people have their energies distracted by unhappiness, nothing substantial can be achieved. My life was like a whirlwind of unhappiness and stress (at work and at home). I felt like a failure.

So, I quit my job.

The Husband was not happy with me. Money was in short supply and foregoing my salary seemed like a big sacrifice. So, I had to face down The Husband's displeasure too.

The first year was the hardest. I had not realised how much self-esteem I drew from my job and my salary. To suddenly have to depend entirely on The Husband for all my material needs was unpleasant. I had to watch my spending or face questions from him and disputes with him. Then of course, I became everyone's Girl Friday. Post letters. Drive people around. Throw the garbage. Get the groceries. Clean up the house.

Hey... I had 2 Masters degrees even then.

My lowest moment came when I had to reach my hand into the toilet bowl to remove a thick wad of toilet paper that The Daughter had flushed in there, after pooping. I sat there thinking that my life was over before it had even begun. When I had a job, I dressed up, looked pretty. Sometimes, when I walked into a room, people stood up for me. I spoke and people listened.

When I spoke at home, nobody listened. Work wear is now shorts, t-shirt and slippers.

I saw nothing but a long long tunnel of nothing to look forward to. I could not even say that I looked forward to the day my children would make me proud. They failed more than they achieved. One was a bitchy little sharp tongued virago. The other was a taciturn and sullen looking thug rather too free with his fists.

I would be lying if I said that I knew exactly what to do and how to do to get the children I am now so proud of and who love me so much. Like every other Mother I encounter in my work today, I had no definite answers and so many problems.

Then suddenly, it is now today. The Children have grown up. My job is done. By some miracle and by the grace of God, I managed to get most of the questions to my Life's Longest and Most Important Exam right. Today, I am actually proud of the...

- of the times I stuck my hand into the toilet bowl
- of the days when I had no time to brush my hair
- of every knee I had to kiss
- of every tear that I scolded away
- of hug, every cuddle and every caress I gave my children
- of looking like a frump every day
- of every failed exam
- of every lost competition
- of every time I closed myself into my bedroom because my children disappointed me with their bad behaviour.

Looking back, it is all the icky things that I went through that makes today worth living. So, Mommies, when you see no way out, know that God's grace is sufficient for all of us. When you see no way out, just keep going.

Ne Me Quitte Pas, by Jacques Brel

This is a very old French song which was translated into English and popularised as the song If You Go Away, by Frank Sinatra. I much prefer the poetry in the original French version. The original meaning was also lost in translation. I decided to translate the original for readers.

Don't leave me
Let us forget
All can be forgotten
That has passed
Forget the times of misunderstanding
Forget the time spent in asking how come
Forget those hours which murdered
Using repeated blows of Why
The fragile heart of wellbeing.

Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me

Me, I will gift to you
Pearls of rain
From desert countries
I will dig the earth till after I die
To smother your body with gold and light
I will make a land where Love is king
Where Love is the law
Where you will be Queen.

Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.

I will invent nonsense words
That only you will understand
I will talk to you of lovers
Whose hearts caught fire
A second time for each other.
I will tell you the story
Of this king who died because he
Could not meet you.

People have often seen
The revival of flames within an ancient volcano
Thought to be too old
It appears too that there are
Burnt lands which produce more abundant harvests
Than a better spring
And when comes dusk
In order for the sky to burst into brilliance
The burnished red sunlight and the black of night
Must marry.

Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.

I will no more cry
I will no more speak
I will just hide there
To look at you
Dance
And smile
To hear you
Sing
And then laugh

Let me become the shadow of your shadow
The shadow of your hand
The shadow of your beloved pet

The song implies a relationship dying away into embers. The song brings forth the hope of a renewed and better relationship (e.g., a revived volcano, and burnt soil that is more productive than a better spring) fed by the purest treasures of the world (e.g. pearls of rain from desert countries). The song recalls shared moments from the past that ensures the understanding of made up nonsense words. The song erases past pain and misunderstandings. The song makes clear that the man has arrived in the world and is successful in every way, but whose only vulnerability is that he cannot live without his love (king died because he could not meet her).

Every single argument that a man can bring to bear, in order to keep a fed up wife from leaving is written into this song. It would be impossible to leave anyone who sings this song. Jacques Brel was not just a song writer. He was a poet.

The English version is herein below. It is pretty too, but the meaning has completely changed. The English version is a lot more shallow, I feel.

The lyrics are HERE.

Not Quite Fair

Petunia's braised pork, cooked sous-vide for 9 hrs at 70 C. 

Let me put it this way: nobody who ate it, raved about it. It is impossible to compete with Chuan Kee Braised Duck. This said, I am going to try and improve my recipe. The first time I made it, I gave myself gluten poisoning using some questionable pre-mixed spices. This is my 2nd attempt and I used real herbs. The next time I make it, I will do 80 C for 8 hrs to improve the tenderness. Maybe, one day, my family will rave about my braised pork too.

Since I am celiac, eating out can be a gamble. There is hidden gluten everywhere. When I find a place where I can eat safely (without tummy cramps, diarrhoea and hypothyroidism) I keep going back. I don't choose where I can eat. The place that I eat at, chooses me!

Within a single foodcourt, there are usually not more than 2 stalls that I can eat safely at. In Chong Pang Market, there are NINE, and this is because Chong Pang has really a lot of hawkers who make everything from scratch. A woman laughed at me when I asked her if her food came from a central kitchen. She said, "I am not successful enough to afford a central kitchen," which I found ironic because if she had been successful enough to afford a central kitchen, I might not have ordered her food.

Often, before I even start buying from a stall, I would have stood outside and peered in to see their kitchen processes. Only when I ascertain that food is made with good ingredients from scratch do I even approach the hawker to order their dish.

Having stared (discreetly) at all of them so much and so often, it occurs to me that our hawkers are the true artisans of Singapore food. In Italy, anything that is "artigianale" like this parmigiano- reggiano or this balsamic vinegar is priced at a premium in recognition of the expertise that goes into producing the food. The famous and outrageously priced iberico ham that I blogged about HERE retails at $10 for 4 slices at Huber's Butchery (the last time I bought). In Singapore, the true artisans are hawkers like -

- Shaj, at Marsiling Market
- Chuan Kee, at Chong Pang Market
- Herbal Mutton Soup, at Chong Pang Market
- Lian Yin Soya Bean, at Chong Pang Market
- Seafood Pirates, at Yishun Park Hawker Centre

... make real food with deep expertise at every step of the food production process. Yet, for some reason, they do NOT charge a premium. The Waterfall Cafe charges $25 a plate at least for pasta (which really is Italian bak chor mee). It does not take skill to make pasta. Petunia makes kick ass pasta, al dente and flavoursome but there is no way I can make braised pork the way Chuan Kee does, nor will I ever be able to replicate the mutton soup at Chong Pang. How can people not respect the extent of these people's expertise? How come we can get away with paying them so little for the high level work that they do?

After a certain quality threshold, these people are not hawkers. They are chefs like Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsay.

These days I simply walk past the mid-priced (aka between $15 to $25 per pax) restaurants in the malls), without even looking twice. I would rather meet friends in a hawker centre than a mall restaurant. Firstly, I cannot observe the kitchen processes in a mall restaurant so there is no way of ascertaining if I will be gluten-poisoned. Secondly, even if the food were safe, it is mostly factory made and heated up on site. No love, no pride goes into the making of that food. Usually, it tastes horrible and I refuse to waste my calories on yucky food (even if the ambience is nice).

For a third that price, I can get better made food in a hawker centre. Of course, I am happy that I can get food that is cheap and good. I just feel that it is so unfair, though. Singaporeans pay for looks and ambience, instead of looking past the marketing and branding to ascertain quality. Singaporeans pay too much Fool's Gold and under pay for what is real gold.

Stupid, right?

Seafood Pirates at Yishun Park Hawker Centre is made without msg. Opposite the hawker centre is a lovely little park. On cooler days, sitting under the trees with a book and my music is pure bliss!

Seafood Pirates' crayfish seafood soup.

Nice Song

If anyone has the youtube link to this song, please leave me a comment. I cannot search because I don't know how to write Chinese.

Many thanks to the reader who found the link for me. Here is the song below. Enjoy.