The Cockroach-in-Law Chronicles Episode 3: Thief

This post follows Episode 2: HERE.

Another thing about cockroaches is that they steal cheap stuff. 

My cockroach-in-law's thieving habits were strange. In the past, she looked enviously at my costume jewellery. When my back was turned, she would take this or that piece, and pass them to her sisters. When I asked, she said that she had lent them to her sisters. They weren't worth much because they were costume jewellery, but they still belonged to me.

Every so often, she would come into my kitchen and pour out for herself a large bowl of Borges olive oil, and swear my helper to secrecy. If she had told me that she wanted olive oil, I would have introduced her to the Tasmanian olive oil that I had shipped direct from Australia, and stored in a climate controlled box. Instead, she seemed happier and more satisfied to pilfer the much lower grade olive oil left outside.

Despite styling herself as a woman with refined tastes, my cockroach-in-law has less evolved tastes than my dog, Pistachio. Believe it or not, Pistachio can taste the difference between top quality olive oil and Borges olive oil. Pistachio won't eat Borges olive oil.

We share a yard. She stole everything from toilet paper, kitchen towels, garlic or onions. I learnt to order extra supplies of these cheap things for her to steal. It made no difference to me whether she stole from me, or asked me to buy for her. It costs me the same. The only difference is one of interpersonal respect. Don't steal. Don't do things on the sneak. If we live together as a family, it is important to have mutual respect. Taking things and swearing my helper to secrecy violates trust and interpersonal respect. I can fund her kleptomania. However, I lost all respect for her.

But well, it made her happy to steal. What can I say?

Again, if you have not suffered, then you don't know joy. I did not realise that joy can come from feeling safe from kleptomania. In the past, I never knew what the Cockroach-in-Law would take when my back was turned. That constant feeling of insecurity has gone away.

Love it!

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