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Saturday, October 29, 2022

The Cockroach-in-Law Chronicles Episode 1: The Sun

So begins my Cockroach-in-Law Chronicles. When the events happened, they weren't funny. Now, I can see the humour in them. Once you get to know this insect in human form, you will understand that human though she might be, her true nature is cockroachian.


The Sun

The first hint of my Cockroach-in-Law's true nature surfaced when it was clear how much she hated the sun.

I thought I was being generous to provide to my Cockroach-in-Law a sunny and well-ventilated apartment on the 1st floor of my home. She was dismayed. Even with air-conditioning, she was dismayed. She scurried hither and thither looking for dark corners to hide in her apartment. Meanwhile, she and her husband complained of itchy skin. And she resented me for giving her a sunny apartment.

After a few years of living here, my clothes started to smell damp and mouldy. T-shirts had to be sent back down to be re-washed. Damp bedsheets aired out as they sat on my bed. The humidity in the bedsheets and mattress lead to an overgrowth of dust mites. My nose was completely stuck. I developed itchy skin too!

It took a while to find the root cause. Meanwhile, the only relief to be had was the use of sulphur soap. Only when I found out that sulphur is a potent miticide did I put 2 and 2 together. Only then did I discover that the Cockroach-in-Law made it her life's mission to order my maid to move my laundry from sun to shade. Every 15 mins, my poor helper had to move the laundry out of the moving sun. It turns out that the excess humidity from damp clothes and bedsheets lead to an overgrowth of dust mites. Since my Cockroach-in-Law was so determined to ensure that my clothes did not get sunned, the dust mites thrived on all our laundry, clean or not so clean.

I was in shock. Our bedsheets are washed twice a week. Sun-drying (or heat drying) was necessary to kill dust mite eggs. As time went on, my mattress teemed with micro-fauna. I bought new mattresses, new beddings, new bed linen. 

No more itchy skin.

I suppose I should thank my Cockroach-in-Law for putting us through that ordeal. Now, we have a mattress topper that I will throw away every 36 months. The topper and the mattresses are steam cleaned once a week, and blow dried. We create a desert storm for dust mites 4 times a month. Hungry hippos and charcoal packs line our shelves to ensure that the insides of all our cupboards are no longer humid.

It is true that if you have never suffered, you will not know joy. Since the Cockroach-in-Law moved out, it is my daily pleasure to breathe in the clean scent of ozone that sun-drying leaves on properly sun-dried clothes. Like the smell of fresh cut grass, this smell is calming and warming.

Love it!


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