Respect My Expertise

It is funny how parents expect parenting tips for free. I receive emails where parents detail their problems in great detail. They end off that they hope to hear from me. When I share that I charge, I never hear of their problems again. 

I do wonder if people think that I should move out into the streets and earn nothing at all from my skills and expertise. Or, am I the online equivalent of a wise bartender who sells a listening ear and some advice for the price of a beer. Actually, the bartender at least makes a living from selling drinks. People expect Dr. Pet to reply their emails with advice that would take an hour + to write and they expect me to do it for free.

I wonder if these people would go to work every morning if they knew they would not get a salary. If not, why would total strangers expect me to help them turn around their children and families, for free?

Once in a while, you meet someone with a sense of humanity and consideration, like the Mama above. I like her a lot and had discreetly undercharged her by 25 minutes. Her response was to email me the above. For this one email alone, you can be sure that this client will get special treatment from me. 

For those who expect or silently hope for free stuff from me, nothing is free.

For people like her, I don't mind doing more and charging less because she respects my expertise and acknowledges that it is worth every cent (since she is well into her 4th coaching contract with me). Her journey with me is long still. She can draw upon my experience, expertise and knowledge for another 8 years because her child won't reach 18 years till then. There will be many opportunities for me to repay her for her simple, humane consideration of me as a person, instead of as a faceless, nameless, free fountain of parenting advice.

When I eat at certain hawker stalls, I am given free rice or extra food. I try to repay these gestures with gestures of my own. The more I refuse to take these freebies for granted, the more I am given free stuff. I like these heartwarming exchanges because these gifts come from the heart and are not taken for granted. Few and far between, some clients become my friends.

Then too, there are friends who are no longer my friends because they put too much effort into trying to sneak free expertise from me.

Think of it this way. If the hawker keeps giving you free chilli and free rice, who will fund his retirement? You? If the lawyer keeps advising everyone for free, who will fund his children's university education? You? If Dr. Pet sits at her computer 8 hrs a day to explain to you the impact of dopamine on motivation or to help you with strategies to prevent explosions at home, then it is Petunia's husband who is funding the improvements to your children and families. Else, who is paying for my clothes, my house, my food, whilst I pour time into advising people I have never even met.

Why should my husband take on the financial burden that belongs to other parents vis-a-vis their own kids?

Don't go everywhere and 贪小便宜. It simply shows up how ugly a person you are. Strangely, some of those who 贪小便宜 are actually quite wealthy. They drive Lexus and Jaguars! Some of the most fair and considerate people are not very wealthy at all.