When I started making them, they looked like anybody else's pretty pineapple tarts. They did! They were normal pineapple tarts. I was very proud of them too! I was so proud that I showed off to the lady who makes Tan Lee Eng Pineapple Tarts (the pineapple tarts of choice for the C-suite).
She praised me too. She did!
Then, people started complaining. Hey... I don't like the pineapple jam. I never liked it. I eat the cookie base and you eat my jam, ok Mom? So, there we were. I was eating balls of jam because I love the jam on the pineapple tarts (especially the homemade jam that we make from reducing the pulp and juice of 5 whole pineapples). Someone else was eating all the cookie bases. Once, I came downstairs to find 10 balls of pineapple tarts missing their cookie bases. Someone had eaten 10 cookie bases and left the jam balls behind.
Then, someone else said that the jam balls made the cookies soggy because the jam's moisture wicked into the cookies.
Then, someone else asked if he could have peanut butter on the cookie base, rather than the pineapple jam.
In the end, I decided to skip the step of rolling the pineapple jam into pretty little balls and placing them delicately on the cookie base. I fed my family the deconstructed pineapple tarts. Here is the cookie base, a spoon, a jar of pineapple jam, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of lemon curd.
Make your own tart.
So, they all did.
When it came to my turn, since I was constructing my own pineapple tart in real time, I decided to smother it in jam because the best part of the tart, for me, is the jam. Voilà! I present you Petunia's Ugly Pineapple Tarts.
Do you think anyone will buy them?
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