No Kumquats At NTUC Fairprice?

There is something very joyful about fruit displays. The aisles of fruits in NTUC Fairprice, Northpoint City made my heart beat faster. 

Then, I found that there were no kumquats to be found anywhere in NTUC Fairprice. Sigh!

So, I still had to go back to Chong Pang Market to get my kumquats for kumquat jam. I had thought 6 jars of kumquat jam would last a few months. 2 jars were gone in 2 weeks. Kumquats are not always to be had. So, I decided to make 12 jars of kumquat jam to last us a long time. Now that I see how easily jam can be made at home, I don't think I will be buying anymore jam. Home made jam is really not the same.

NTUC Fairprice Fruit Paradise

Having explored the HDB estates in Toa Payoh and in Bedok lately, I realise how emmm... rustic my Chong Pang market really is. Apparently, some of The Daughter's friends shudder at the mention of Chong Pang market. They were there and found it chaotic and dirty. We brought a Hong Konger there for lunch and in her naiveté, she said, "Oh! Are the police going to come and chase all these hawkers away? That is what they do in Hong Kong."

And there I was, so proud of my market.

All this while, I thought that I had to force myself to tolerate Chong Pang as part of my own sensory training. It turns out that plenty of folks prefer tidiness too. I also realise that HDB estates can look very neat and very tidy, even if Chong Pang does not.

Then, I discovered the fruit paradise in NTUC Fairprice. The prices are competitive and I get volume discounts annually. Best of all, the fruits are neatly bagged to prevent people from fingering the fruits and spreading Covid19. Next best of all, there are temperate country fruits galore, from strawberries, to soft, juicy pears to apricots and blueberries.

I think I am done proving to myself that I can tolerate noisy chaos. With almost no community spread, it is now safe to go into the malls again. From now on, I am going to shop for fruits at NTUC Fairprice, get buns for M, from Breadtalk and tauhuey from Mr. Bean.

I am still proud of my market though. No matter what, it is still my market.

 

Bedok Classroom

Some of my students get anxious in new environments. This post is for them to get some sense of what the new classroom will be like. 

Henderson Waves

We expected that most people would be hung over from their X'mas eve dinner. True enough, there were not many people at Henderson Waves on X'mas day. It was a nice way to spend X'mas day with the whole family, ending in a X'mas day lunch on the beach at Coastes, in Sentosa.

Coastes has gluten free options. We also loved the vibes. We will probably go back again. There are so few restaurants or hawker stalls that I can eat at, that every single one is precious.

 

Fermented Pork: Success!

 

The last time I made fermented pork, it turned into bacon. M gave me a look and mumbled something about letting her make it. So, ok. I let her make it. I contented myself with devising the recipes to use the fermented pork:

- fermented pork soup and 

- fermented minced pork on rice

Both tasted really good. The fermentation seems to have made the pork less greasy. The slight hint of sourness tastes clean and crisp, leaving the palate craving more.

I am not posting the recipe. It took all the courage I had to eat the dishes. I was so afraid of botulin poisoning. To be very sure, I pressure cooked the pork before adding it to the vegetable soup. I also toasted the minced pork to a crisp at 200C. Botulism is fatal and this bacteria grows best in anaerobic conditions in the presence of water. This explains why M was very particular about drying the pork before rubbing stuff on it. 

Don't try this at home, ok?

Strawberries and Cream

The strawberries and cream combination is a sure win. The cream takes the edge off the tartness of the strawberries, and the flavours meld into a sigh of summer, like HERE.. Now that smoothies have become a daily part of our lives, it seemed right to eat strawberries and cream differently. What's more, these are X'mas colours and look so festive for today and tomorrow. This drink is a celebration for the whole year. It looks like X'mas and tastes of summer.

Recipe

250 ml fresh sugar cane juice

750g of strawberries

1 canister of whipped cream

Blend strawberries with sugarcane juice. Squeeze a huge dollop of whipped cream on top of each serving. Top with mint leaves.

Ah Ma Bak Kut Teh

Good food can be had for small prices at kopi tiams situated within industrial parks. This Ah Ma Bak Kut Teh is flavourful. Apparently, it is a famous Klang recipe. There is a wide variety of pork dishes from dong po pork, bak out teh, pickled vegetables, pork balls and bean curd skin. Everything is delicious.

I think we scored a really nice place to eat here. Right next to it, there is very good Thai food and delicious Malay food. I think that is going to be my every day Go To Lunch place now! Yumzzzz...

Coffee Shop @ Primz Bizhub

21 Woodlands Close, 

Singapore 737854

Ah Ma Bak Kut Teh

Dong Po Pork.

Pickled vegetables.

Beancurd skin.

Pork balls.

All together.

 

Easy Wring Mop

Wringing the mop.

Squeezing the remaining drops of water out.

Drying the mop.

The faux wood vinyl tiles at our new shop have rather realistic wood grain and grooves that trap dust. The spray mops HERE are great for our clay tiled floors at home, but it was not able properly clean the wood grain grooves on the  faux wood vinyl tiles. So, I went shopping for a proper mop. For $7.90, I found one that was better than what I believed possible. 

This mop is made of material that attracts dirt to itself. Immersed in soapy water, the dirt magically floats off into the water. A mechanism allows me to wring the water out of the mop without touching the wet mop. I was so enthused that I bought another 3 units, as spares.

More mops.

Hunter

Pistachio is useful after all. For 1 year, we all believed that Pistachio's raison d'être was to act cute and make everyone happy. His entire existence is founded on increasing dopamine levels in everyone of us. Since he joined our family, I look forwards to coming home to his happy welcome. The Husband smiles when he comes through the door. M is constantly joyful to do her work with Pistachio close by. The Daughter (when not working) smiles indulgently at Pistachio's antics.

Pistachio's contribution to the family is to make people happy. This is a big contribution already.

This week, we discovered that Pistachio is even more useful than merely bringing happiness. We found that Pistachio can hunt rats.

When he scratched at the shoe cupboard, we opened it. He dove into the cupboard and out came a rat. In a blur of action, Pistachio leapt and pounced. He turned, rat in mouth.

We told him he was a "Good boy!" and he was very pleased indeed.

Feeling Too Much

Spock of the Star Trek movies (and also moviedom's most famous portrayal of the autistic mind) eloquently explained the response of an autistic person faced with other people's strong emotions. Spock said,

As Admiral Pike was dying, I joined with his consciousness and experienced what he felt at the moment of his passing. Anger, confusion, loneliness, fear. I have experienced those feelings before, multiplied exponentially on the day my planet was destroyed. Such a feeling is something I choose never to experience again... you mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring. Well, I assure you, the truth is precisely the opposite.

When I found out that Mr. A. had passed away, and Mrs. A. had insisted to see me, I wanted to say, "No! No! Don't come! I cannot bear the pain you will pass onto me 5-fold." A younger me would have gone silent, said nothing and avoided Mrs. A. I did that once to a man who tried to tell me how sad he was that his father had passed on. I told him curtly on the phone, "That is not my business." 

Now, at my age, I know that I must stay to help Mrs. A.

Autistic empathy is a strange thing. We have no defences against emotional contagion. We catch other people's emotions, and feel them (amplified). Yet, we cannot predict how what we say and do will make another feel. I once talked for 30 minutes on the parallels between the Israelites enslaved in Egypt, and Black people enslaved in the southern states of the USA, to a very polite and restrained black Colonel in the US Armed Forces. It took me one month to figure out why he left our dinner early. As a child, I returned a storybook slightly damaged to someone, not realising that the other might feel heartache. As a young adult, I placed my handbag on the table between my colleague and myself, not understanding that she might feel slighted, or rejected. 

Often, I try really hard to be nice, only to come across as odd, weird, not friendly, too direct, very offensive, and callous.

Yet, I cannot watch C-drama by looking at the TV screen. In actual fact, I don't watch C-drama. I listen to it, and refer to the visuals once in a while when I need to figure out which character is talking. I fast forward when the crying and the drama gets too dramatic. I often need to stop watching, and come back another day when the drama gets too much.

I watched White Fang, the cartoon movie and had to leave the room when I thought White Fang would be torn to shreds by a pack. I could not sit through some children's movies because the children characters were in danger. I also dreaded facing Mrs. A. because it felt like I had myself lost my own husband.

It is not that autistic people do not care. It is that we care many times more intensely (or thoroughly). Again, we have 2 coping strategies:

(1) Shutdown (avoid, escape, walk away) or lock in the emotions.

(2) Explode (give vent to the feelings in an explosion that even frightens ourselves)

I spent my whole life training myself to shutdown because giving vent brought along all sorts of negative consequences from bullying to scoldings to beatings. It is better to turn inwards and implode, rather than explode. It is better to manage my emotions within a bomb containment chamber, because, if the bomb explodes outside the chamber, other people get hurt, and I would suffer negative consequences afterwards. 

When I shutdown, it looks like I don't care or I don't feel. Most normal folks cannot take the full force of an autistic person's feelings. They think we are out of control. So, in some sense, I can relate to Elsa in the movie Frozen.

Don't let them in, don't let them see. 

Be the good girl you always have to be. 

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.

I am only able to express very strong emotions months or years after feeling them. In the heat of the moment, I must shutdown and activate the bomb containment chamber, or simply walk away, because I know that I will regret the aftermath of an explosion. It does not matter if it is a positive or a negative emotion. One can just as well embarrass oneself with intense liking for someone, or intense joy at something.

If there is danger of a strong emotion, shutdown. That is the safest.

Sensing Too Much

Neuroscientists studying autism have found an overconnectivity of neurons in the brain. It appears that the process of apoptosis, where unnecessary neurons are pruned away as a child grows from infancy into toddlerhood and childhood, does not occur at the usual rate.

Infants come into the world with an abundance of neurons which are gradually pruned away as the child grows. Infants sense the world keenly. They smell everything. They hear every sound. As time passes, the brain prunes away neurons to temper that onslaught of sensory information so that the child can focus on sense-making the information (analyse, evaluate, conclude). Too much sensory information is not just distracting, it can be overwhelming. 

In autistic brains, apoptosis does not proceed at the normal pace. The result is that autistic people often have sensory processing issues. I smell things others cannot smell. Every person's body odour is like a punch in my face. Other autistics experience light as daggers stabbing eyes. When a hawker deliberately drew a slow zig zag on my palm, I felt like vomiting.

In the normal brain, the brain connections between the 5 senses are pruned away. Hence, neurotypical people do not taste sounds, like I do. In the autistic brain, some connections between the 5 senses stay intact. This explains the synaesthesia many autistic people have.

This pruning business also explains the diversity that exists amongst autistic people. Some are touch sensitive. Others are light sensitive. Some see alphabets in colour. Others see numbers as shapes. I happen to experience sound as tastes, and see/feel conceptual family dynamics in 3D ribbon/rope net patterns/textures.

It is almost as if a gardener went into my brain, and instead of pruning according to the normal template, he decided to prune what he wanted, and where he wanted.

Autistic people have access to 2 coping strategies:

(1) Shutdown.

(2) Explode.

For me, it is shutdown. I remember only the first day of my kindergarten. I remember the smells, the sounds and the way the light came into the yard... and where the teachers were standing. The sensory experiences of that day were so overwhelming that my mother beat me severely to make me go to school. I could not escape the sensory onslaught. Hence, I shut down all my senses and became non-responsive thereon. Teachers and family thought I was stupid and slow.

For others, it is meltdown. I see such children in my centre quite often. They speak with their fists and their legs. They often are sent into anger therapy, for their rage issues.

The hawker who drew a zigzag along my palm is lucky that I am a Shutdown Autistic. If I were an Exploding Autistic, I might have thrown my boiling hot tea into his eyes. Others would have seen an over reaction, but if you feel touch with 5 times the sensitivity as others do, then understandably, your reaction would be 5 times worse. No?

Synaesthesia

Synaesthesia is 3 times more common in autistic women than in the general population. Synaesthesia is a phenomenon that derives its name from Greek, meaning "to perceive together." It occurs in many different combinations. Some people see numbers as different genders. Others see words in different colours.

In a previous blogpost HERE, I wrote about sounds being creamy and sorbet-like, which some readers found odd. For some reason, I can translate sounds into taste quite easily. I can taste what I hear. I perceive sound and taste together.

When I do parent coaching, I can also see abstract psychodynamics of the families I coach as ribbons in the air. I can then imagine myself hold or pluck at a ribbon, and follow the vibrations along the ribbon towards the interconnecting nodes that form the web of relationships within families. Through this, I can pinpoint what to fix, and where to fix, and how the proposed fix might possibly change the web along other interconnecting nodes. This is called conceptual synesthesia.

This morning, I let The Husband have a taste of my kumquat jam. I said, "It tastes like a French château." The Husband agreed. I am myself mystified that we would both associate the taste of a jam we had never before tasted with an experience we have never had. I mean, I have visited many French châteaux, but we have never eaten one before.

I only realised today, that not everyone thinks this way.

I am curious to know which of my readers perceive overlapping senses.

Kumquat Jam

 

The fruits stalls had punnets of kumquat at $8 for 3 punnets. When I tried to smoothie them, they solidified into a high pectin gel. So, I decided to make jam. It is really very easy. Remove the kumquat seeds. Blend in the food processor. Add 4 tablespoons of white sugar. Add star anise and cinnamon. Bring to the boil. Simmer for 15 mins. Pour into jars. Screw the top on tight. Put jars into pressure cooker and sterilise at high pressure for 20 mins.

In Remembrance of Mr. A

A message blinked into my phone yesterday afternoon. My client had lost her husband to a freak accident. Her children (my students) are now without their father. The mother had reached out to me for parent coaching, to learn how to protect her children in the months ahead from the devastating effects of grief.

Grief counselling is not my area of expertise. It was important that the children get the best. In this regard, I am not the best. So, I sent out a plea for help to mothers in my network. They too felt keenly for the 2 children and activated their own networks for contacts. The plea for help came back to me via other routes, through other moms whom I had not asked.

Clearly, mothers were moved by the tragedy, and they all felt the need to do something to help: no matter how little.

In the past 8 years, my work revolved around Mothers. I coached Mothers. I taught children. My relationship with Fathers were limited to polite nods that turned into respectful nods as the months wore on. The occasional Father appeared as a total stranger ringing on my doorbell, saying, "Thank you, Dr. Pet. My wife is now a different person. My family life is warmer, happier, more loving." After that surprising revelation, I never see the man again.

This Papa was different. He came to the parent coaching session, and he impressed me. He was not well educated, but ran a thriving SME. His children were well provided for and he was his wife's pillar. He did not stinge on the costs of parent coaching. As I worked with his wife, his child developed into a strong school leader, and was even selected for Head Prefect. The parents explained that they hoped that this child would be the first to attend university, and they explained to me the difficulty of making that happen in a family where grandmothers, uncles and aunts were lackadaisical about doing well in school, and who thought it was ok to let children watch a whole afternoon of TV after school daily.

Academically, it was somewhat challenging. Even though the family was English speaking, the English they spoke was not of a high standard. The child made many Singlish mistakes because that was the environment he/she came from. However, the child had inherited the father's drive to achieve. The child was intelligent. 

Soon, the tables were turned. Instead of the parents feeling grateful to have Dr. Pet's help, I began to consider it MY honour to be given the opportunity to serve such a family. It was a zero to hero story that gave me immense satisfaction.

I impressed this Papa when I told the family one day (to encourage them): 别人可以看衰你们. 你们自己不可以看衰自己.

This Papa impressed me one day with his moral rectitude. I explained that it was necessary to sometimes help the child skip HW, in order to manage the child's energy and stress levels. I urged the parents to ask the school for special dispensation saying that the school would consider since the child was a good student and an outstanding leader. 

This Papa replied, "My child cannot do that. He/she is a school leader. Rules should not be broken for leaders. Rules apply to everyone."

His comment took my breath away. Many of my clients have no qualms going to school to demand special treatment in this and in that. They are so used to 5* hotel service. This Papa was concerned about equity and equality. No matter how I badgered him, he would not ask the school for special treatment. In his view, leaders deserve no respect if they behaved that way. He was adamant.

So, Dr. Pet, Mama and the child had to steer through choppy waters and take on more challenge than necessary. We did it willingly too because Papa was a man of principle. His determination to do the right thing gave us energy to do more and be better.

I generally think of my own husband as the best husband there is... but I must say that this man comes close, and I feel his loss very keenly.

The Family Environment

 

I found a photo on my Facebook feed this day that thrilled me so much that I blasted it out to the whole world. In just one line, it describes Dr. Pet's job.

Parents come to me saying:

- My child is aggressive.

- My child cannot focus.

- My child won't sit still.

- My child is easily jealous.

- My child bites her nails.

- My child whines.

- My child has anger issues.

- My child has no friends.

- My child is shy.

The initial presentment of every case is a problem with the child. Parents expect me to fix the child. It takes a while for them to understand that I have to fix the parent. Once the parent is fixed, the child rights itself.

So, in essence, it really is a little like gardening. If a plant is not thriving, I change the soil or tweak with the fertilising regime, or change the placement of the plant so that it gets more or less sunlight. I don't blame the plant. I change its environment.

The thing is, families often have different children. Parents are perplexed at why 2 of the 3 children thrive in their family and the last one gives so much problems. I have never been able to explain clearly why even though I intuitively grasp the issue when problem solving. Now I know how. If Child 1 is a laksa leaf (water loving plant) and Child 2 is a mint (also water loving plant), and Child 3 turns out to be a rosemary (who prefers dry conditions), then clearly, the rosemary won't do well in the same environment as the laksa leaf and the mint.

So, to help Child 3 to thrive and reach peak potential, one must parent Child 3 differently than Child 1 and Child 2.

Reusable Nespresso Capsules

 

I gave away my old Nespresso machine because I did not like that the coffee capsules were made of aluminium. I guess that I am not the only one uncomfortable with aluminium contamination in my coffee, because someone invented a stainless steel reusable coffee capsule for the Nespresso machine. The same capsule can be loaded with tea leaves too. Whilst I am at it, I suppose I could also load it with cinnamon powder (mixed with rice), teal leaves with toasted rice, rosemary leaves, chamomile leaves, or even American ginseng bits.

The possibilities are endless.

Nespresso now has a different business model. The machine costs $1 but one must sign up for a 12 month subscription of coffee capsules. The Daughter was spending $5 a day on Starbucks. So, she signed up for 12 months of Nespresso coffee capsules.

I quite like the Nespresso coffee capsules because each keeps one dose of coffee powder, vacuum packed and fresh, within an air tight mini container. This extends the shelf life of my coffee powder, which is important because I drink coffee rarely, and one sleeve of Nespresso coffee capsules can sit a long time in my pantry.

So, with the 12 month subscription, we now transfer the Nespresso coffee powder into the stainless steel capsule for insertion into the Nespresso machine. This gives me peace of mind, knowing that there won't be aluminium contamination into my beverage.

The Golden Dragon of Chong Pang

 

The Golden Dragon of Chong Pang (GDCP) is the boss of my favourite hawker stall. The Husband and I got the serendipitous chance to sit and chat with him today.

When people see a golden dragon, they drop their jaws in awe, and go "Wow!" Not many people consider, in that moment of awe, that every golden dragon started off as a worm.

When the GDCP started out, he sold 4 ducks in one day. One month after, the bird flu happened. He not only was not making money, he was also losing money. He had to borrow money to keep his business afloat. People looking at him then, would have seen a worm.

Coming out of our conversation with him, I squeezed The Husband's hand and whispered, "Behind every successful man, there is a successful woman." Behind the GDCP, there is also a woman. This woman worked her day job on weekdays and on weekends, helped out all day at the stall. In his words, "She was my support." As he spoke his eyes shone with love and respect for the strength of the woman who had his back.

I asked The Husband, "Do you speak like so of me too, to others?"

It took one year before the GDCP's hawker stall broke even. Since then, he has not looked back. I was there at 6 pm today, and all 40 ducks were already gone. It was a good thing that I had pre-ordered in the morning.

Me, being me, I asked him a very insensitive question: "You are clearly very intelligent. Why did you not finish schooling?"

He answered, "I was rebellious, and when I decided to go back to school, my brain could not learn." 

As a psychologist, I see a man with extremely high fluid intelligence. This is the type of intelligence that reasons through real world situations with lightning speed and figures out ways around real world problems in twice that speed. Along with that, there is also a very strong will. This would have been a Jadeite Child. Maybe that is why he did not do well in school. He does not bend easily to authority, and is smart enough to figure out ways to thwart it, and strong-willed enough to push back against it. This is not a man who can be forced into anything. In him, I sense the same stubborn strength of will that both The Husband and The Son have.

Oh well... since karma is a bitch, the GDCP is now blessed with a daughter who is as difficult to control as he himself used to be. Hahahahahaha!

The Husband and I sat across from the GDCP whilst he explained Gilbreth's Theory in simple words and concrete examples. The inside of his hawker stall is designed such that the workers can get everything done whilst moving as little as possible. He had learnt Gilbreth's Theory by observing McDonald's kitchen processes. Why not? McDonald's must have paid management consultants hundreds of thousands of dollars to design their kitchens according to Gilbreth's Theory. The GDCP had done it all by himself.

I am impressed.

My Solution

I had a problem, which I described HERE, about my kids feeling so much the pressure to live up to their parents that they might:

- be too anxious to do their best

- make ungodly decisions in order to achieve life success

- be miserable.

I have figured out a solution which works. It does help (as a parent) to be skilful in the art and the science of motivating people. Teeheehee!

Behaviours That Lead To Success

Goal setting is a well-known motivation strategy. In a condition where tasks are simple and well-mastered (e.g., building a simple lego toy),  participants with a clear, specific and challenging goal will outperform the participants with a Do Your Best goal. This research finding by Locke and Latham is at the foundation of the well-known Goal Setting Theory. In today's world, every single company's KPI setting exercise sits squarely one the tenets of Goal Setting Theory, dating from the 1960s.

In the 1990s, Ruth Kanfer published a study that showed the limitations of Goal Setting Theory. She found that in work conditions where tasks were novel and complex, participants with clear, specific and challenging goals underperformed the participants with a Do Your Best goal (because of anxiety).

KPI setting sits on very outdated research.

It is understandable that in conditions where people are unfamiliar with their tasks and have to also meet a challenging goal, they would feel more stressed. Even though I did not explicitly set the goal for my children to surpass us, their parents, both my children feel they have to. I guess, a parent's unspoken expectations are more powerful than her spoken ones. 

Life with a capital L is neither simple, nor well-mastered. We are not in Locke & Latham's simple and well-mastered condition. We are in Ruth Kanfer's novel and complex condition. So, it is understandable that the clear, specific and challenging goal of doing better than their parents creates anxiety for my children.

Solution: Set a different type of goal.

As my children were growing up, I very rarely set them numerical goals in the form of grades or marks. Instead, I looked for behaviours that would lead to success. I set behavioural goals. Once you demonstrate the behaviours that lead to success, the academic grades will magically sort themselves out. If the grades don't magically sort themselves out, no one is disappointed. I did tell both of my children that I wanted perfect scores at IB and at A levels in Sec 1. However, what I held them to, and enforced from P1 to JC 2 were behavioural goals.

So, my solution to my problem HERE, is a variation of what I had been doing to motivate my children since young. I told my adult childrenthe following. As you step out into life, 

- do not target this promotion or that promotion (i.e., don't set goals)

- do not hanker after such a job title or such a salary (i.e., don't set goals)

- simply do your job well (behavioural goal)

- maintain a high savings rate (behavioural goal)

- master the art and science of investing (behavioural goal)

- invest your savings so that the money works for you (behavioural goal)

- focus on family (behavioural goal)

- focus on health (behavioural goal)

- never stop learning (behavioural goal)

You see, you cannot control whether people give you promotions or a high salary. A fair bit of luck (and being in the right place at the right time) makes promotions and high salaries happen. You CAN control how much you save. You CAN control how thoroughly you research a company/industry before you invest in it. You CAN control what you eat, how much you exercise, how much you sleep. You CAN choose to read a book, learn to knit, experiment with herbs, instead of watching Channel 8 TV. Focusing on these behavioural goals gives people a sense of control. This sense of control reduces anxiety.

If my children focus on and achieve the above behavioural goals, I am sure that they will do better than The Husband and me, 30 years from now. However, if they don't do better than The Husband and me, no one will be disappointed.

A Relief

When I told The Daughter the above, I could feel a palpable sense of relief from her.

Tastebuds After the Circuit Breaker

 

Something changed after the Circuit Breaker. For months, we stayed away from any venue with air-conditioning. That meant that we did not go to any nice restaurant with a lovely ambience and good service. 

Now, it seems that we have lost the taste for nice restaurants. We ate out at One Ninety, and did not enjoy the food as much as eating at Ocean Curry Fish Head in Toa Payoh. Most folks now takeaway. So, the crowded tables at Ocean Curry Fish Head are now a thing of the past, even though the queues are just as long.

It was yummilicious.

5G and Electric Vehicles

Nio VS Tesla

Both companies sell electric vehicles. 

One year ago, on 2 Dec, Nio was trading at USD 2.26. In a deal finalised in April 2020, the Chinese government injected USD1 billion into Nio. On 4 Dec, Nio was trading at USD 43.04. In contrast, Tesla was trading at USD 488.

We invested in Nio because we think that the Chinese market alone presents enough growth for Nio to eventually rival Tesla albeit, in a different market segment (especially with the Chinese government's policy support levers: purchase rebates and tax exemptions).

Quantumscape

Since Nio has run up considerably, we searched for upstream opportunities, and found Quantumscape. Quantumscape is not yet profitable but we think there is potential because it does solid state batteries. See HERE. Solid state batteries charge within 15 mins and don't explode. 

Quantumscape went from USD 12.95 on 5 Nov 2020 to USD 42.50 on 4 Dec 2020. The company is not making money yet. There is a risk that the company's technology does not pan out, or that it loses out to its competitors in the fight for market share. If that happens, our investment will disappear into thin air.

5G and EVs present growth opportunities for today, in the same way Microsoft, Apple, Amazon and Tencent did in the recent past. We missed out on the growth of Microsoft, Apple, Amazon and Tencent. Hopefully, we can catch this wave of growth to fund our retirement.

Shop Frontage

 

This is our shopfront in Blk 509 Bedok North Street 3 #01-93. I need to thank Octopus Design and Consultancy for their very professional fabrication and installation work of the signage. The workmen were well-trained, serious and kind. You can find Octopus HERE.

I also need to also thank Jonathan Yuen from Roots, for his impeccable design flair, and the ability to capture our values and our company spirit in the logo, and tagline. You can find him HERE.

Last, but not least, I highly recommend Matronic Roofing Pte Ltd. They are my Go To People for anything that has to do with renovation or construction. Their expertise stretches from building an entire house to minor renovations in HDB flats. I don't even bother to contact anyone else anymore because they really take away my stress when it comes to renovations. I just pass them the keys and leave them alone. You can find Matronic HERE, or simply call Joe Goh at 97924974.

Fermented Pickle Puree

 

Ever since I bought my fermentation crocks, we have been making pickled vegetables at least once a week. We don't enjoy chewing on the sour pickles but we do like it in puree form, as a dip, or a condiment. Laden with probiotics, this pickle puree tastes good and has done wonders for our digestion. The Husband is plagued with digestive problems: constipation, flatulence and bloatedness. I was able to remedy his constipation and bloatedness with milk kefir.

Now, the pickle puree has fixed his flatulence. Yay!

We are no longer culturally used to eating fermented foods. M's family in Myanmar has no fridge nor freezer. All their vegetables and meat are stored as fermented, dried or salted foods. In between watching Li Zi Qi and Dian Xi Xiao Ge, and listening to M reminisce about her village back home, I am motivated to experiment with more traditional foods. So far, we have had 2 Myanmese helpers, both of who developed allergies after 6 years with us. Now that M is back on fermented foods, her allergies are also getting better.

It tastes good too!

Favourite Fruits Stall

 

Chong Pang Market's fruit stalls look like something out of Paris' markets HERE. At the start, there were only 2 stalls. Then, there were 3. Now, 2 more stalls have appeared: heavy with fruits and colourful too, like edible jewels in a whole row of treasure boxes. Our family spends a lot on fruits. Some days, that is practically all I eat all day, along with nuts of all sorts. Every day, I make 2 litres of fruit smoothies to help the whole family's digestion along.

I like to buy my pineapples from 1 stall, which sells them at $1.80 per pineapple. I buy the rest of my fruits from another stall where the men are quietly friendly. 

The stall opposite my favourite fruit stall can be quite intimidating. The auntie never smiles and once denied me a bigger plastic bag. The men yell so loudly at me "美女" when I walk past that my stress levels hit the roof. Once, one of them threw a grape at my feet to get my attention. Such bizarre sales tactics. Really ah... I will buy your fruits because you throw your fruits at me? Thank goodness my fishmonger does not think that way, or I might get a squid thrown at me.

Over time, my face has become a loyalty card program. One uncle at my favourite fruit stall gave me $1 or $2 discount off my entire bill. Later, the other men also did the same. Yesterday, I bought 8 mangos and got 1 free from a guy that I had never seen before at the stall. So, I guess they have all told each other that I am a good customer, and to be treated well. I now trust them to choose my fruits. They choose nicer ones than I do. I only need to tell them whether I want to eat them on the same day, or to keep them a few days. I think I will give them home grown vegetables.

On another note, my favourite hawker stall has closed for 11 days. The Boss is really one in a million. Twice a year, he closes both his stalls and allows his workers to spend time with their families. That is 11 days of forgone earnings twice a year. I always miss them when they close but I recognise that everyone has families and families are important to everyone. So, I shall quietly miss all 4 of them + their boss.

The Historian

The Daughter has a good friend who is a historian, like... I mean, a real historian who travels to archaoelogical sites in China and Japan for her research, and reads ancient Chinese and ancient Japanese fluently... and teaches a module on The History of the African continent to African students from Africa.

That sounds to me a dream job.

This child did rather poorly at her A levels (which amongst the peers in her class simply meant that one of her many subjects... and ONLY one... was not a distinction). She was devastated. At that time, it seemed as if the world was at an end. No one understood why her strongest subject was not a distinction. We all finally concluded that her brilliance was such that her understanding of the subject went outside of the 'A' level marker's marking scheme. 

Life went on, as life is wont to do.

She obtained a PSC scholarship to study at NUS, her favourite subject. When most people in your class ended up in Oxbridge or an Ivy League, this option is painfully disappointing.

Within 1 year, the entire History faculty (I imagine) had decided that this young one represented the future of their faculty. Even I thought she was brilliant, and would make important contributions to her field. So, the faculty made up their own scholarship just for her, and went and bickered with the PSC to have her transferred to them. I would imagine that they said to the PSC, "You have plenty others to fill your pipeline of human resources. This one is perfect for us. There is no other, in her generation, like her."

So, the child left for Cambridge to do her Masters.

With Covid19 raging in the USA, she is back here continuing her PhD research by reading ancient Chinese and Japanese military correspondence. Wah... imagine that! She gets to read the equivalent of MI6, FBI and Secret Service correspondence, from the ancient times. She watches Game of Thrones, and instead of hiding her head in her pillow like I did, she huffs, "That is wrong military strategy! You will lose the war you morons!"

At lunch, I saw the need to impress The Historian.

Me: I do history research too, you know.

The Historian: Oh... really? What are you studying?

Me: I watch C-drama on Wu Zetian, Yang Guifei, Wei Yingluo and Xiao Yanyan.

The conversation segued to Confucius and his nefarious impact on gender equality throughout East Asian history. 

Before the 1949 Maoist revolution, women were only ever wives, concubines, or prostitutes. Female oppression stemmed from Confucian beliefs about gender roles in society where wives were to be subservient to their fathers before marriage, their husbands after marriage and their sons, when their husbands were deceased. Women made deep obeisance to their husbands, and not the other way around. Concubines had even fewer rights than wives. They were kept as mistresses by men for sexual services or to produce children. Men were polygamous (permitted one wife and an unlimited number of concubines), but women were allowed only one husband. Men held the power within the family and had greater freedom compared with women. These norms were upheld by mothers against their own daughters. Women's education only aimed to teach them these restrictive norms as laws under heaven.

What a sad existence, thanks to an idiot who lived from 551BC to 479BC. Confucius' insidious impact has resulted in many a bondmaid's death and the oppression of countless daughters-in-law. Thanks to Confucius, it was alright to bury a man's living wives and concubines with him, when he died. Confucius' impact is still seen today at Chong Pang Market when 60 yr old women refer to 30 yr old men as 帅哥 placing themselves into a subservient role they are used to, or when the men my age (or younger), call me 小妹 tipping me into a subservient role that I am not used to. Confucius' impact was also seen within my family where my mother-in-law presumed that she owned me and mine through her son.

It is all Confucius' fault. His influence throughout history has been singularly the cause of countless blighted lives and unnecessary deaths. What an odious man!

Despite Confucius, there were still women who rose above the oppression to wield raw power. Wu Zetian became an emperor in her own right. Unfortunately, there was no way to do it through institutionalised methods. You could not, for example, do a Ruth Bader Ginsburg, by getting a life - i.e., going to law school, graduating first in class, and then get appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States. Wu Zetian's path to power included first 

- becoming the concubine of Emperor Taizong, 

- and then, she became the Empress of Taizong's son (Emperor Gaozong), 

- and then, she became the mother of the crown prince.

Then, there was the Empress Xiao Yanyan of Liao, who lead her own army against the Song in 1005 AD. Her path to power also included 

- being first the wife of Emperor Jingzong of Liao, 

- and then mother of the crown prince.

A woman's path to power, independence and glory had to be through a man, and his son. No wonder Chinese mothers throughout the ages favour male offspring. It is through their sons that a woman can achieve some semblance of dignity and self-empowerment. A woman spends almost her entire life powerlessly, under the control of father, husband and mother of husband. 

Only when her son comes of age does she begin to gain some power, at which point she replicates the kind of oppressive control of younger women. I suppose my MIL was thrilled that she could now (according to Confucius' teachings) exert legitimate control over her son's household. I am not sorry I disappointed her. 

Confucius is an idiot, and I have no respect for her Confucius values at all.

Our TV

12 years ago, I hosted a gathering at my home. My guests wanted to watch a TV programme. So, I switched on our TV. The problem was that our TV looked like this...

My guests were torn between the need to look polite and the frustration of having to squint at the TV screen to make out what the moving people on the tiny screen were doing. I tried to justify my lousy TV by explaining that I did not want my kids to watch TV. So, it did not make sense to buy a nice one. One guest patiently explained to me that TV was educational, and that if I did not allow my kids to watch TV, they would grow up stupid.

We went for another 2 years with that lovely antique. I thought it looked quite charming in the living room. It gave off vibes from the 1980s, and if someone really wanted to watch TV, we did actually have a TV, which was better than no TV at all. TVs in those days were a few thousand dollars each. I did not feel like spending that kind of money.

Then, Little Boy failed Chinese so badly that he was 20 marks below the 2nd last. Desperate to improve his Chinese, I decided to sign up for Cable TV so that he could watch Chinese cartoons. The Husband was overjoyed. Finally, he did not have to feel embarrassed when his friends came over and saw our TV.

So, we bought a 50" TV for a little less than $2000. Little Boy did not enjoy watching TV because I only allowed him to watch Chinese TV. He could not understand Chinese and quickly became bored. It did not help that I was always nagging him to watch TV. It became a chore. In the end, no one watched that beautiful flat screen TV. We moved it over to our bedroom and I used it as a full length mirror after my bath. It has a beautiful reflective surface.

Then, Petunia discovered the joys of C-drama, and the benefits of hula hooping. So, the TV began to fulfil its life purpose. I would connect it to my iPad so that I could watch it, and hula hoop and knit, at the same time. When the soundbox gave out, I asked for a new TV.

The Husband still thought it was a very lovely TV, and refused to get a new one. He connected an external speaker to it. The sound was not very clear but I made do. It is not worth a conflict with The Husband to insist on a new TV.

Then, it became impossible to even connect up the iPad. So, I again asked for a new TV. The Husband said, "No, I can make it work again." When it was clear that the TV was quite quite unusable, The Husband said, "Watch from the iPad. You don't need a TV."

It was then that I realised that The Husband had bought a TV just for show. It has the same utility as a vase or a sculpture. In The Husband's worldview, the TV is not meant to be watched. It is meant to be looked at for its sleek lines and deep black reflective surfaces. He deeply disapproves of me actually using the TV in the way it is meant to be used. Watching TV is a waste of time, never mind that I am also hula hooping and knitting as I watch.

So, I said, "If you don't buy, I will go to Harvey Norman tomorrow to buy one." The Husband does not trust me to buy expensive things. He always thinks I don't shop around enough and get the best deals. So, he decided to get down to brass tacks and do his husbandly duty of providing me a TV.

We are both thrilled to buy THIS (the PRISM+ E55) at $665. In every way, it is superior to our current TV, and it can do a whole bunch of other stuff (not sure what yet) that our current TV cannot do. It is somewhat bigger too.

Then, I wanted to throw away the current TV. The Husband insisted that it still looked very elegant and we could keep it somewhere. When I insisted to throw it away, The Husband mourned, "We let go of things too easily. We let go of Milo. Now, we need to let go of the TV."

Me: Do you love me more than you love Milo and your TV.

The Husband: Yes. Why?

Me: Ok... when I die, you don't let me go, ok? You dress me up and lay me on the bed next to you and chat with me every day.

Farmhouse

When we moved into this house, it was a nice and elegant house. Colours and furniture matched. There were large empty spaces and everything unsightly was packed away. We have... emmmm... evolved.

The house now is full of...

- fermentation crocks

- worm composting bins

- dou miao pots

- beans sprouting

The garden used to be nice and neat. Now, it is a jungle of vegetables and fruit. This is now a house that feeds us well but it is not a house to socialise and entertain in. The Husband had visions of a manicured garden. He lives in a reality of jumbled leaves and shoots. The Husband thought classy. He is getting homely. He is getting old too and has no energy to fight me and M, together. It is a good thing for The Husband that it is illegal to keep a goat in Singapore.

M and I were hoping to get one nanny goat for milk.