Mother's Day 2021

 

I am starting to feel a little bad for Mother's Day. On Mother's Day, I get gifts from The Husband, the children and even the helper. The Husband gave me 3 pairs of earrings. The children gave me a home made coaster detailing that I had graduated top from Mommy School. The helper busted all the stops to cook me a feast. 

The Feast

I had no idea it was my Mother's Day gift from M. I thought it odd that out of the blue, she insisted on going shopping for beef, veggies and rice. I kept saying that we had enough beef, veggies and rice in the fridge. I told her that I should be paying for the groceries. M insisted stubbornly. So, I let her be. Only this morning did she explain, in her halting English and a lot of hand gestures that HER mother had asked HER to make me a meal since I was as good as a mother would be to M.

The funny thing about M is that she does not smile, nor does she even look pleased. When I thank her, she looks away but man, the effort she put into cooking that meal!

The Coaster

The Son apologised that my Mother's Day gift would be late. Apparently, they ran into a design issue and then had to wait for the machine to free up. So, ok. This morning, I found it on the 2nd floor landing, still smelling of wood varnish.

The story goes that a little girl fell and cut herself. Her mother told her to go and get her wound disinfected and then explained why. The girl was awed and said, "Mama, how do you know these things?"

The mother replied, "I went to Mommy School."

The girl asked, "Then, what about Daddies?

The mother did not know how to reply. After a while, the girl said, "Ohhhhh I know! Those who fail Mommy School, become Daddies!"

As each year passes, I see more and more Daddies take an active hand in child rearing. In my practice, I have single parent Daddies too! The divorce court granted these Daddies custody, and the children live with their Daddies. Gee, my favourite braised pork stall is run by someone who puts fatherhood front and centre in his life. He would put many mothers to shame. These fathers are excellent parents! So, I feel a bit bad that the prevailing culture celebrates motherhood, and puts down fatherhood. Sorry mates... I feel your pain. It's just that men don't verbalise these things because it makes them seem like wussies. Unfair is unfair. 

Fathers matter.

In the last 20+ years, The Husband gives me presents for Mother's Day. I have never given him a Father's Day present. The children don't either. My poor husband... he is such a excellent Father too!

The Earrings

No one remembers my birthday. Often, I myself don't remember my own birthday. However, for Mother's Day, The Husband spoils me rotten. I really must get off my butt and do something nice for Father's Day.

Taking Umbrage at a Distraction

I had a good time laughing at all the memes and videos people have put up to throw shade at Ng Yat Chung for

- misinterpreting

- wrongly quoting

CNA reporter Chew Hui Min's first question.

So much attention has been given to the first question that almost no one remembers that Chew Hui Min asked a 2nd question.

"This move comes after various corporate initiatives to improve the sustainability of the media business. Is it fair to say that these initiatives have failed, and if so, where does the responsibility lie?"

This second question is the more interesting question. The first question could have been suavely dealt with using a polite statement, "Ah yes... we can now focus on strengthening the reporting end of the business, instead of deploy resources to sell advertising space. That is the point of the reorganisation: to streamline our operations."

Instead, Ng Yat Chung threw his dignity to the winds and:

- verbally assaulted a lady

- looked like a thug

- was not even alert enough to quote her correctly

- misunderstood her question.

In so doing, he distracted all of Singapore from the 2nd more important question. 

Are You Happy?

I was upstairs when I overheard M ask Pistachio tenderly, "Are you happy?"

I was startled. Then it dawned on me that I regularly ask M whether she is happy. In fact, I have for years, been regularly asking every member of my family whether they are happy. I do my utmost to chase away anything that might destroy the calm, the joy and the harmony in the family.

If anything makes anyone unhappy, a judgment call is made to decide what to do to bring happiness back. Sometimes, it is because someone brought his/her bad temper home from work. At other times, someone else is unnecessarily jealous. Yet at other times, another person is unhappy because feeling entitled. Yet other times, the person is genuinely aggrieved and someone has to make amends. Sometimes, that person is me, or another.

Like dust, these little motes of unhappiness collect in the home. I do the chore of dusting away these emotions to maintain a clean emotional environment at home.

This does not mean that we sweep unhappiness under the carpet and pretend it isn't there. We don't hide our unhappiness. We address it and bring joy back into the home.

I explained this family discipline to The Son's girlfriend. She said, "Oh! He often asks me whether I am happy, too!"

I am glad that I have started this habit in my children. Hopefully, this habit of caring whether a loved on is happy will cascade through my future generations, and bring them joy every day of their lives. You see, if every member of the family cares about others' happiness on a daily basis, then everyone will give in, give way, do things for each other. No one will be entitled. No one will exploit another, as is wont to happen in many families.

I exist to make my family happy. They also exist to make me happy. These days, even my taciturn and un-expressive husband sometimes asks me, "Are you happy?"

Artisanal and Bespoke

Years ago, The Husband wanted to offer my a gift for our wedding anniversary, from Tiffany & Co. When I saw the prices and looked at the wares, I decided not to spend his money. Tiffany & Co is a jeweller with global presence. Its designs are produced for anyone in many countries willing to fork out money to buy. The prices were steep and the designs were not exclusive. I would be one of hundreds and thousands of women to own the same necklace.

Why bother?

I went looking for a local craftsman, explained what was in my head. Just like that, with a few sketches, I got me a bespoke keepsake. In those days, people were still starry-eyed about luxury brands: Chanel, Burberry, Prada, Louis Vuitton... with all their in-your-face logos.

It was all so expensive too.

So, for handbags, I decided to approach the Italian leather ateliers directly. Each leather artisan has his/her distinctive style. I got the bag below from Parise. Their website is HERE. They make very distinctive woven leather bags. The weave is achieved on an 18th century treadle loom. Anytime you see a weave like so, you know that it is a Parise bag. The leather is soft as a baby's skin. It is luxury without the crazy prices. Best of all, there is no in-your-face brand logo on the bag exterior. If you bother to search, you will find a reputable leather atelier that produces something in your style. Approach them directly and get something well-made that not many people in your social circle will have.

It is artisanal, not bespoke.

The ultimate in luxury must be bespoke (in my opinion). Something bespoke is designed just for you. Hermès designed the Birkin bag for Jane Birkin. Only she got the bespoke service leh... the rest of the world, including Mrs Najib (aka Rosmah Mansor), got copies of what was tailor made for Jane Birkin.

I like luxury at a fraction of the prices. Why pay $200 for beefsteak at Cut by Wolfgang Puck when you can get the same mouthfeel at home by cooking the sous-vide way, in a thermal pot? Why pay $15,000 for a leather bag when you can get the same luxurious leather and good workmanship from well established but unknown leather ateliers.

Woven leather from Parise.

As for jewellery, I am thrilled to recommend Tsu Yinn. Her instagram is HERE. Tsu Yinn designs jewellery for you and only you. It is nice to wear jewellery that projects my personality and individual style. Depending on the woman you are, you can have elegance and sophistication, or you can have fun and quirky asymmetric pieces. Tsu Yinn designs for every budget. She makes resin jewellery too. See below a ring Tsu Yinn designed and crafted, for a friend. Stunning huh? 

Bespoke jewellery by Tsu Yinn.

Bespoke Education

My love for the bespoke and the artisanal has spilled over into my work. I approach my students as child crafting. 12 children in 1 EQ class, all learn different things. We profile each child individually. We know each child deeply. Often, we also know their parents deeply. And we craft each child into the innate shape that God placed in him/her. We surface innate strengths and find creative ways to turn weaknesses into strengths.

Anti-Ageing Supplements: NMN, Resveratrol, TMG

After watching Dr. David Sinclair's google talk HERE, on Why We Age, and Why We Don't Have to, I could not wait to get started on the supplements that Dr. Sinclair himself is taking:

- NMN (nicotinamide mononucleotide)

- resveratrol

Initial Results

We quickly ordered online and began to take 900mg a day each of NMN, and 2000 mg of resveratrol. At first, we felt greater energy and faster exercise recovery. After every bout of strenuous exercise, we both needed 2 or 3 days of recovery time. With these supplements, we recovered overnight. We also began to lose weight even though we were not eating less, nor exercising more.

Wow!

What Dr. David Sinclair Says

Dr. David Sinclair says that NMN is converted to NAD+ for cell metabolism (and mitochondrial function). Mitochondria convert the energy of food molecules into ATP that powers most cell functions. As we age, we have lesser NAD+. NMN serves to replenish these dropping levels of NAD+, allowing cells increased energy to stay healthy, and reproduce properly.

Side Effects

After the first burst of increased energy, our continued use of high doses of NMN and resveratrol lead to some side effects. The Husband started to get heart palpitations and he could not sleep. I developed a rash on my hip, extreme fatigue, and a craving for beef.

So, I proceeded to research a little more.

NAD+ Enhances DNA Methylation (Requiring Methyls)

In simple terms, NAD+ helps DNA repair. To do so, NAD+ draws methyls from the body's methyl group pool. I experienced a craving for red meat because my methyl group pool was depleted. Red meat contains methionine, which is a methyl group donor. I resolved my craving for red meat by adding TMG (trimethylglycine) to my supplement stack.

Too High a Dose

However, I had not resolved my rash nor my extreme fatigue. Further reading into this domain, I discovered that NAD+ metabolises into nicotinamide. This nicotinamide is recycled via NAMPT pathways back into NMN and then, back into NAD+.

Whatever is not recycled, circulates in the body and causes body inflammation. This was why I felt tired and had a rash. 

900 mg of NMN was giving rise to too much nicotinamide in my body. I dropped my dosage to 300 mg 3 times a week, along with 1000mg of resveratrol and 500 mg of TMG.

The Effects of Senescent Cells

Cells can only sub-divide a certain number of times. When cells can no longer divide because they are too old, they become senescent. Older people like me have more senescent cells. These senescent cells send out chemical signals that cause inflammation.

NAD+ turbo charges all cells. The young and healthy ones will work harder. The senescent cells will also work harder at sending out signals that cause inflammation. These inflammatory signals can also cause cancer. So, if you are predisposed to cancer, NMN supplements may not be good for you.

It makes sense to remove senescent cells from the body. One way to do this is to go into starvation mode. When your body is denied food, it will scour its system for senescent cells and eat them up to produce energy.

Physical exercise also removes senescent cells.

Eating foods rich in quercetin and fisetin also will remove senescent cells.

Finding My Own Equilibrium

The Husband and I take gotu kola daily. This herb is rich in quercetin. We eat lots of fisetin containing fruits too: mangoes, apples, kiwis, tomatoes, onions. Less research has been done into fruits like guava, mangosteen and jackfruit. I am hoping these fruits have quercetin &/or fisetin too.

Even before taking NMN as a supplement, I had successfully reversed my own ageing by simply:

- exercising a lot

- fasting a lot

It turns out that it is not necessary to take NMN as a supplement to get higher levels of NAD+. Exercise and fasting will do that too. This is because exercise and fasting take out the senescent cells. These senescent cells produce a chemical called CH38, which breaks down NAD+. So, by managing downwards the numbers of senescent cells, we can actually push up our levels of NAD+ naturally.

I am still stuck with many bottles of NMN, TMG and resveratrol. I intend to continue taking these supplements but at vastly reduced doses. Then, I will focus on daily exercise and intermittent fasting to manage down the numbers of my senescent cells.

I wrote about Autophagy and Senescent Cells HERE.

Bordier Butter

"Bordier Butter, the Soul of Butter, half salted" is printed on a plain paper wrapper.  This is arguably the best butter in the world. It is completely artisanal, made not with modern technology for mass production but by hand, using technology hundreds of years old (if not thousands).

Butter is made from milk. So, the quality of milk is important. Bordier gets milk from a community of local farmers in Bretagne (all with strong relationships with him and each other). This community of farmers share farming practices and support each other. It is hard to hanky panky when you are one family. The cows graze freely. They are not stuck in factory stalls and force fed grain.

So, the milk already contains the aromas of wild flowers. No, really. 30 years ago, we travelled through Bretagne, en route to Mt. St. Michel in Normandie. We lodged with the bed and breakfasts provided by French farmers. In those days, there was no AirBnB but if you drive into the tourist office of any town, you can get a list of farms offering bed and breakfasts. The milk we drank at breakfast came warm from the cow. It was not pasteurised. It was fresh, still warm from the cow's own body temperature. It was creamy, rich and had a slight floral bouquet.

That is the type of milk used to make Bordier Butter.

Regular butter is made in large steel vats. The aim is to produce a lot of product at high speed. Bordier has ONE malaxeur made of wood that kneads its butter slowly, lovingly for exactly the time it takes to reach a certain texture. The time needed can vary. It depends on the season, the temperature, the humidity. So, the butter artisan needs to be able to read his butter. You need butter EQ so to speak. You need that 6th sense for butter.

This is why the mouth feel of Bordier butter is nothing like supermarket butter.

Once you have ever had Bordier butter, your tastebuds will be spoilt for butter. No other butter even comes close to the aroma and the texture of Bordier butter. Bordier Butter is different throughout the year. I like the spring butter best. In spring, the cows feed on fresh grass and spring flowers. So, the butter has a floral bouquet. 

I like Bordier best on top of Japanese short grain rice. No, not mixed in. On top of. Big cold chunks on top of steaming rice and quickly eaten before the butter melts into the rice.

Bordier makes many different flavours of butter. I only like the plain butter. The plain butter does not have distractions. It is pure, simple butter. Only then can you really taste how different it is from supermarket butter.

Bordier butter is expensive. It is expensive on the pocket. It is expensive for my waistline. So, I almost never buy it. The Daughter came home on Saturday carrying one brick of it as a gift to me. What an indulgence!

Another thing about Bordier Butter that catches my fancy is where it resides. This beurrerie sits inside the walled fortifications of Saint Malo: as in, in the wall itself. Saint Malo is a fortified town that sits across from England on the English Channel. Throughout history, Saint Malo has played an important part in the Franco-English wars. Saint Malo pirates departed from here to attack English ships and steal plunder. The walls of Saint Malo are famous. The guard dogs of Saint Malo, who patrolled the walls of Saint Malo, are also famous. 

The Guard Dogs of Saint Malo.

The Walls of Saint Malo.