From a Year Ago
One year ago, E lost a parent. The emotional shock to the family was in seismic proportions. At that time, the grief was such that it seemed to never end. I am not a Grief Counsellor and I was myself too distraught about it to think that I could be in any way, of help. There is a reason why I am not a Grief Counsellor.
The Mother insisted to see me. I was highly anxious but I agreed to chat with The Mother. I allowed myself to cry for 2 hrs before our meeting, in order to be able to NOT cry during the meeting. I did not think I would be of any help if I cried and she cried. There would just be 2 crying messes.
Thank goodness this Mother understood me enough to not unload her grief onto me. For that, I had recommended another qualified counsellor, specialising in this. Instead, we spoke of how to help her neurodivergent child get through the shock. Neurodivergent people, like me, process grief and loss differently. Heck! We process emotions differently!
From Last Week
My body does not produce enough cortisol. When a human body runs out of cortisol, it will go into an Addisonian crisis. Blood pressure will drop too low and multiple organ failure results. It is fatal.
The past month has held some events which represented stressors that I could not run away from. Normally, I am quite diligent about removing stressors from my life. If client parents are nasty or stressful, I discharge myself. For my own health, I need to do this. I have removed stressful friends. However, some stressors cannot be removed. So, my body received shock after shock after shock in December and January. I collapsed twice into a tired heap and had to take triple dosage of cortisol medicines on some days.
I started to plan to stop work. As soon as those thoughts floated in my head, I received love emails: one every day since Monday. I also found bible verses and bible sermons in my Facebook/TikTok feed.
- See HERE (Sermon on NOT Giving Up)
- See pictures below.
Today, I received the above email from E's parent. It encourages me. It shows me that my work has meaning. It also inspires me because if E can rise up like a phoenix from the raging fires of a parent's death, then I can continue to work. No?
I believe that God will keep His promise to me. He has still use for me. I cannot give up now.
