Giftedness: The Label

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Of Dogs and Romance

Pistachio has shown me a whole new world of dating possibilities in this new millennium. Whaddaya know? Young people nowadays date and socialise over pets. Every other weekend, Pistachio goes off to a dog cafe with The Daughter and Her Boyfriend. At the dog cafe, they eat and chat, and make new friends with other young couples with dogs.

I begin to realise that there are many young couples with dogs.

Ever since Pistachio came into the family, The Daughter and Her Boyfriend have begun to have conversations about when and how to discipline pets and children. They get together with other couples and chat about how to discipline pets and children. They lament about the costs of a dog, and explore insurance for dogs.

I also begin to realise that this is a very smart way of dating. It allows me to know how good a father and husband, Her Boyfriend is likely to be. So, even before a real kid comes along, you know what the potential spouse thinks about:

- tuition

- education

- discipline

- financial management

Thanks to an entire social community of young lovers with pets, Pistachio has a ton of good friends: Cotton, Bubbles, Cookie, Rocky, Hamilton, Shiro and Juno. Every other weekend, Pistachio goes on outings with one family or the other and plays to his heart's content. Me, I am happy because Pistachio is too full of energy, and a veritable attention whore. I am glad to share him with anyone who wants him. He is too much for me to cope with.

Gifts From M

 

M is our helper. She has been with us for a good 6 years and more. When she started, she could not speak any English. Even now, she speaks to us in her own distinctive style of English, often missing the consonants at the end of the words. Her pronunciations of:

- fish

- fig

- peach

... all sound the same: "fi."

M is very generous with us. She has variously given us:

- a few kgs of turmeric powder

- crocodile meat

- fresh fish

- laphet (a Myanmese specialty made of fermented tea leaves)

- bottle gourd seeds.

She often buys clothes for The Daughter. Now that Pistachio is part of the family, M buys toys, doggy vests and walking shoes for Pistachio. Her favouritism is very clear. We ordered 2 sets of dog shoes online. M told us that she wanted to pay for Pistachio's shoes. Last week, M cut up an old dress of mine and sewed for Pistachio a matching set of vest and 4 mitten shoes.

Today, I was most surprised though. M had bought me jewellery. Having observed my fascination for glowing stones, M got me a pendant and 2 bracelets of glowing stones. 

It seems so wrong to have M spend so much on us. We tell her not to, but it makes her happy to shop and give us things. So, I guess we can only try to honour the giver as much as we can. So yes, I will wear those bracelets because:

(1) It honours M.

(2) They are pretty.

 

Develop Financial EQ

 

Getting Into Cambridge: Leadership

Video interview on Thurs, 29 Oct 2020 from 5 pm. Click HERE to watch.

Galatians 5: 22- 23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Galatians 5: 22-23

Values are caught, not taught. Many of the students who join my classes come in with:

- harsh speech

- much anger

- great impatience.

When asked to lead, they speak to others disrespectfully. From here, I can tell how their parents talk to them at home. Parents are leaders of children. They way they lead children will become the way their children lead others. In time to come, these same children will make enemies with this type of interaction style. In some ways, they will suffer for it well into their future.

In this way, the sins of the forefathers will be visited upon up to 4 generations of descendants.

“You shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them. For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me, and doing mercy to thousands of those who love Me and keep My commandments”

Deuteronomy 5: 9-10

In one case, the parent provoked the child, who then accidentally broke something when trying to defend himself. The parent exploded and called his child a "f***ing moron." This child joined me with extreme anger management issues. I am not surprised. If I lived with someone who provoked me for the fun of it and then called me a "f***ing moron", I too would have anger management issues.

Happily, this was a Christian family. I was able to anchor the family to Galatians 5:22-23 and use God's word as a beacon of light to pull this family out of darkness into the light.

In another case, the parent kicked his child and hit him with any object that was nearby. I despaired. I wanted to give up and asked God to please not burden me with this case. It was too painful for me. Sometimes, God does tell me that the case is not mine to resolve. In this case, God wanted me to persevere. I felt lost and incapable. Then, the child told me this, "Dr. Pet, I read Galatians 5:22-23 every day. My father also reads it, daily. He is much kinder to me now. I too, know how to be kind now."

A chorus of angels sang in my head.

God can change people even when Dr. Pet cannot. I was a very different person before 2004. In 2004, I read Proverbs 21's Noble Wife daily every day. The first time I read Proverbs 31, I despaired too. I railed at God and told him that he had overly high standards. Nobody can be that woman in Proverbs 31. God said, "Even if you cannot, you must still try."

Reading that chapter everyday changed me. I went from being weak to being strong. I went from victim to victor. I went from afraid to courageous. I went from faithless to faithful. 

God can do anything.

Rich and Black Compost

The compost bin yielded up 10 litres of rich, black compost and 2 big balls of composting worms. The compost bin is not supposed to have any composting worms but they somehow appeared, and thrive inside there. I put in 100 litres of sugar cane bagasse, and all our fruit plus vegetable peels for 12 months. All that is left is 10 litres of compost. 

Once harvested, we fry the compost in a wok to sterilise it for use in the garden. I am worried that the non-sterilised compost may have pest eggs or harmful pathogens. Once sterilised, it can be safely spread onto the pots. We have taken the garden off the normal organic fertilisers we use. For the next few weeks, we will only use the home made compost. I hope the garden likes this home made plant food.

 

What am I Feeling?

The week before last, I woke up every morning in a state of negatively valenced high arousal. This is the research term for unpleasant high energy emotions. These emotions cover the gamut from:

- anger

- frustration

- anxiety

- fear

What exactly was I feeling? I think that for many autistic people, NOT knowing what the self is feeling, gets in the way of self soothing. I could not even name my feelings. How to console myself? After a few days of this, I had to sit down and think. Only then did I realise that I was feeling "fear".

That alone made me feel better.

Yet, I was still fearful. Thoughts of being incompetent, insufficient and incapable flooded my mind. I told myself that I was...

- arrogant

- lacking in empathy

- unkind to my clients

- do not deserve my clients

... and that The Collaboration Corner would fail miserably, and I deserved to have it fail.

These thoughts churned in my head. I walked everywhere in a daze, not seeing people, not looking at people, not noticing much. It did help to tell The Husband my fears, but not entirely. The Husband did my P&L analysis for me and assured me that everything was fine. He told me that I had nothing to fear because I was competent and parents needed me.

It did not quite help.

Then, yesterday, a parent told me that she was anxious about her child going into secondary school. The child did not seem "done." The mother was afraid of letting go. I know the child and I was sure that if the Mama could let go, the child would fall a few times and then take off. However, if the mother persisted in nagging and pushing, the child would push back and lose motivation.

So I said, "Fear, is not of God."

Then, I said, "You have become controlling again and are pushing her boundaries. You are pushy. She is pushing back at you. Stop pushing..."

When I re-read those words, it seemed that God meant them also for me. I had begun to take control over The Collaboration Corner, instead of yielding to Him. I had begun to worry and stress, when all I need to do is stand back and let Him work through me.

I was an instrument that was taking charge, when I should simply let the Maker take charge.

Keeping Teeth

 

I had a companionable chat with one of the hawkers today and found out that he does not eat a lot of meat because he has lost 6 molars. I guess it is a matter of time before I lose my teeth too. I am determined to keep them as long as I can.

I started using bicarbonate of soda on my teeth about 20 years ago. It was around that time when my son asked me why I did not take out my teeth to wash. I stared at my stupid son and replied, "You cannot take teeth out of your mouth."

Then, my son stared at his stupid mother and replied, "Yes, you can! Grandma does that every night. I get to play with her teeth too!"

On that day, I discovered that my mother-in-law had very few teeth left. So, I resolved to take care of my set of teeth! So, I started using bicarbonate of soda and xylitol toothpaste. Combined, the 2 quite effectively cured The Husband's gum disease. It also cured me of sensitive teeth. Of course, one must brush properly in gentle circular motions.

Xylitol is antibacterial. Bicarb of soda is granular (before it dissolves) and is great at removing plaque. Over time, it also brightens teeth.

Hopefully, with this combo, The Husband and I can keep all our teeth well into our eighties.

Milo, the Goodest Boy

A blog reader requested for news on Milo. It is funny that the older you get, the faster time passes. It seems like yesterday that Milo was a 3 month old puppy we rescued from a factory in Tuas. Milo's mother had left him at a factory where the factory supervisor used to serve NS in the police K9 section. The factory had about 8 large mongrels laying about. The mother dog must have thought those premises safe for her puppies. She left them there and disappeared.

Milo is poorly these days.

He is diabetic. We discovered it when ants congregated around his pee and tried to crawl up his little cuckoo bird. So now, we feed him mung beans instead of rice. Since the new diet, he has lost weight easily and looks healthier now. I wonder if I might replace my rice with mung beans. Maybe I will lose weight too!

Before we discovered that he is diabetic, sores would erupt all over his body. His fur dropped in huge hand fulls. Now that he is on a low carb diet, the sores have disappeared.

Milo is the goodest boy. He does as he is told. Pistachio is full of mischief and does not really do as he is told. Milo still has that innocent, goofy look. Much of his black fur has turned white. Yet, he still has that puppy face. He still guards our house with his thunder bark. 

Teabox Direct Sourced Teas

 

Teabox teas are sourced directly from the tea plantations. So, if the packet says Singbulli Exotic Spring Flowery Oolong Tea, then it is oolong tea harvested and processed in the Singbulli Tea Estate. The Upper Namring Exotic Spring Black Tea comes from the Namring Tea Estate.

For a long time, I did not drink plain brewed tea because I would get bloatedness and tummy upset drinking just about any teabag from the supermarket. I could only drink tea if it had milk in it, like teh si kosong. 

These direct sourced teas do not give me tummy upset.

I am guessing it has to do with glyphosate, a weedkiller. Apparently, even Twinings organic teas contain glyphosate. See HERE. I have tried all sorts of teas, even the teas labelled organic. It was no use. My tummy knew better. Glyphosate is a potent anti-bacterial agent. I can just imagine glugs of it killing all my beneficial gut bacteria with every sip of tea. My gut bacteria population is so poor that I need to take milk kefir every day. I cannot afford to lose any to glyphosate poisoning.

These plantation teas have passed Petunia's tummy test.

I discovered that tea leaves are like meat. They need to be handled low and slow. So, I brew them in low temperatures (in the fridge) for 24 hrs. Then, I pour them into a Chinese teapot to sip through the day. It is a real pleasure.

These are whole leaf teas of a certain quality standard because the tea plantation name comes with it. If the tea were of poor quality, the tea plantation's reputation would suffer. 

In contrast, supermarket teas are sourced from nameless suppliers. These people can play punk with the entire tea process to maximise yield and profitability. Their reputations do not suffer. They compete on price alone, to sell to the big tea distributors like Twinings and Lipton. If you open a Lipton tea bag, you actually see tea dust. So, I am not sure why The Daughter disses me for buying tea dust to make teh si kosong. It is exactly the same thing at a fraction of the cost. At least, I buy tea dust knowing that it is cheap tea dust.

You can buy Teabox Teas HERE.