聪明的女人

聪明的女人 

一定要记住

好好工作

好好赚钱

所有的喜欢你和想你的人

都是假的

都会变的

在这个世界上靠谁

不如靠自己

女人一定要会赚钱

一定要会开车

一定要会打扮

车子里有油

包里有钱

这些都是安全感

The Daughter has bought a home, and will be getting married soon. Hers is a truly modern relationship where the partners are truly equal. They share in the expenses. They share in the responsibilities. Younger folks are more willing to share in everything. In my generation, it was still expected that the husband would be the main breadwinner and the wife would bear the major load of childcare and homecare. 

In my generation, women friends who made it to the C-suite did so with huge mom guilt because they also felt that they had to do it all at home. Those, like me, who don't have mom guilt, gave up a career. Then, there are women situated along the whole spectrum between one or the other.

I really did not like not earning money. I worked hard at home, and brought to my family skills in medicinal herbs, organisational psychology, gardening, cooking, housebuilding. I worked very hard. It was simply not paid work. This made me vulnerable to disrespect. People could assume that I contributed nothing and therefore, I had no rights.

I don't want my daughter to go through what I did. So, I was prepared to ditch my 2nd career, in order to raise her kids. Then, I found out that her company has Work From Home days, and 6 months to 1 year childcare leave for BOTH male and female parents. Since husband and wife work in the same company, they would be able to take equal turns.

I mean... wow! I need not have worried. Society has moved and organisations have evolved along with it. Shared responsibilities are now a real thing. The Daughter can embrace womanhood as expressed above.

Now, I have a new fear. Relationships require vulnerability. It was because My Husband saw that I had given so much and become so vulnerable that he now cherishes me and protects me like a rare gem. To grow into each other within a marriage, it requires both parties 

- to be vulnerable to each other

- to then move to shield each other

This is the reason why The Husband and I are as thick as thieves today. Will the new style partnership allow such vulnerabilities (and therefore such bonds) to develop?