Don't get me wrong. My kids are not ugly. At least, I don't think so. Since they're my kids, I admit that for many years, I very much believed from the bottom of my heart that they were the most handsome and the most pretty of all the children I had ever met. Then again, I also understand the meaning of the expression, "only a face a mother can love".
To stop me from staring distractedly at them and commenting with a dreamy smile,
- You are so pretty, you know. I made a pretty baby.
- You are so handsome you know. I made a handsome baby.
... my kids finally told me their nicknames. Nicknames, as we all know, are given to one by peers. Peers have absolutely no bias of any sort. They pick up on something salient and exaggerate it... and voilà! A nickname is born.
Smelly Boy is Master Splinter.
The Daughter is Naked Mole Rat.
At least, Smelly Boy's nickname speaks of some gravitas and if looks were missing, at least that rat had influence. After all, Master Splinter is boss of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Hence, the name conveys a sort of grudging respect... "Hey Mate, you're ugly, but you're ok. Ya know what I mean?"
Naked mole rat? Naked! Will you look at that rat... all splayed out!
Ohhhhh... my poor children. I think I must have gone overboard with the milk feeding. My kids' small faces and small jawbones simply have no space to fit all those teeth. Thank heavens for dentists and braces. In a few years time, I will have good looking children. Meanwhile, every month, one or the other needs porridge every meal for 3 days.
Ohhhhh... my poor children!
I wonder if I am rodent-faced too. No, no... I don't wanna know. Please don't come and tell me. Some things, like IQ and being rodent-faced or not, are not necessary to know. This said, if the kids are rodent-faced, it must come from me. This is because I think The Husband is ever so
handsome, especially when his eyes narrow and a half smile appears on his face during moments of deep thought. He looks like some badass cowboy about to pull the trigger of his gun. Heeheehee! Then again, I know I am biased because I even think The Husband's burgeoning paunch is very appealing indeed.
I am quite sure that in a few days time, I will be made to take down this post.