Part 1: HERE
Part 2: HERE
Part 3: HERE
Have you ever had a hugely emotional fight with someone? How did you feel after that? Sapped? Tired? Unable to focus? Suppose you were to take an exam in that state of mind, or produce a piece of work then? Would you do well?
When one has careless and dreamy kids like mine, it can get frustrating. See HERE for Smelly Boy's gong-gong stories. Frustrated parents start yelling and screaming. One parent with anger management issues came to me for Parent Coaching. In her own words, "I have hit her with anything and everything. Basically, I pick up anything I see and I hit her with it." My eyes teared as I wrote that particular coaching report. This coaching session was so painful for me that I refused to sign on a 2nd session.
Getting scolded or beaten up is an emotionally sapping experience for the child. Even if the child were not prone to being dreamy and careless, he would become so, if always scolded and beaten. You only need to think of how well you would perform at work after a emotionally fraught conflict with your spouse or a co-worker to know that this is true.
An unhappy child (like an unhappy adult) is prone to ruminating about the unhappy event. You think about it. You moon over it. Unless you are trained to use Mindfulness Techniques (see HERE), you would tend to replay the dispute again and again in your head. You expend ever more mental energy feeling upset all over again.
Who can focus and be less careless in such conditions?
Hence, all through P4, P5 and P6, I internalised my own anger and frustration. I also made it a point to detoxify my son of his anger, anxiety and frustration (from being bullied, from being wrongly accused, from overwork, from fear of exams). See HERE and HERE.
I am still not done with sharing strategies for Dreamy and Careless Children. However, the remaining 2 strategies will be shared months later. I am still monitoring their effectiveness.