Monday, February 22, 2021
Sun Cooking
Monday, February 15, 2021
The Hermès Ethos
Just before the CNY weekend, I found out that some parents were stressed about the composition HW that that their children needed to do for me. Apparently, there was a fear that there would be no time to complete the HW before the CNY weekend. This was a puzzling news to me.
Firstly, I strongly encourage parents to focus on
- the fun inherent in the creation of a story,
- and to push towards perfection when creating it.
... instead of hurrying to meet a deadline. Parents are encouraged to ask for extension, so that they and their children can revel in the creative journey, and strive towards masterpieces (not just HW).
Alas! Singaporeans are so well socialised to factory output norms and values that the notion of taking time to create a masterpiece is alien to them. Parents instead feel that missing a deadline is a failure.
My mind chewed endlessly on this breakdown in my communication with my customers. I think I have just the thing to convey my thoughts.
Manufacturing Economy Values
In the 1960s and the 1970s, when most of us were growing up, Singapore was a manufacturing economy. Our parents had to produce X numbers of Something in a given deadline. Every unit of that Something had to meet stated norms, and processes were tried, trialed and perfected so that efficiency was maximised and deadlines could be rigorously adhered to.
Traditional crafts where people took their time to sew soul into their masterpieces disappeared from Singapore. Production lines to make jeans and shirts (each exactly the same as its clone from the same production line) became synonymous with quality and virtue.
The French part of me screams in horror, at this. I cringe when children write compositions with no soul, no feeling, full of sloppy errors, just to meet a deadline.
Last year, we hit a 56% A* rate. It would have been a 74% A* rate if 2 children had not underperformed because of emotional distress too near to PSLE. I did not blog about our lovely results because we are no longer accepting students for English Enrichment. We don't get this type of results by forcing children to meet HW deadlines, for the sake of meeting deadlines.
We get these results by requiring that children put in effort to reach perfection, even though perfection is unachievable.
Hermès Values
For the uninitiated, prices for a handmade Hermès Birkin bag start at $15,000 and can reach $650,000 for one bag alone. The ethos that makes this happen is not simply a Hermès ethos. It is the same ethos that came through generations of artisans from Etruscan times till today, but in today's Industrial Age, the ethos is kept alive in the top fashion houses of Old Europe: Hermès, Chanel, Gucci, Bottega Veneta. The same ethos was caught by some top fashion houses in America: Vera Wang. Other American fashion houses are just really good at marketing: Ralph Lauren, Abercrombie & Fitch.
I named this blogpost the Hermès Ethos simply because I managed to find videos that showcase and explain this ethos, produced by Hermès. However, what Hermès has done is to make a big deal out of an ethos that exists everywhere in the world where people make bespoke things:
- Hong Kong cheongsam masters: they make a cheongsam around a woman's curves and personality. These craftsmen pour the love of a woman's curves into their creations.
- La Putri jewellery craftsmen: their designs are created from the soul of the gem. In other words, they read the soul of the gemstone before they create the design. They also read the soul of the customer and bridge the gap between gem soul and person soul. To weave the 2 souls together requires love too.
- Michelin starred chefs: they create dishes from foods of their terroir. The design a dish around the ingredients, and put love into the food.
See the 2 videos below.
Thursday, February 11, 2021
2021 Spring Festival
Wednesday, February 10, 2021
Serious Intentions
When The Daughter first started dating The Boyfriend, I had a talk with him about his intentions. I explained that my daughter was not the sort who dated for fun. Before him, she did not date for 6 years. I stressed that the dating game should be accompanied with Serious Intentions to marry. Else, don't waste our family's time. Don't waste my daughter's time.
Thankfully, The Daughter is no fool. She picked a good man: responsible, serious, kind, caring and intelligent with honourable and responsible intentions towards her. It is a load off my mind, indeed. The Son gave me a lot of anxiety in primary school. One wondered whether he was stupid, and whether he would grow up into a sort of silly, flirtatious and irresponsible wastrel. The Daughter gave me much anxiety in secondary school and through to JC.
Through secondary school, I fetched her everywhere. No matter how late she ended, I would drive out to escort her home. We moved out of our HDB flat into a condo with security guards when she was 14. The biggest reason was her safety. At our HDB flat, twice, the same man waited for me in the lift lobby, to get into the lift with me. The first time, I decided to wait for my friends. The second time, I recognised the man. The Son was heavy in my arms but I chose to wait for The Husband to come.
Another time, I met a man on the ground floor, who looked at me funny. I quickly took the lift upstairs, ran to my flat, got in and locked the iron gate. At the moment I locked the gate, the man appeared in front of my gate. He had raced up the stairs just outside my gate to intercept me. I dread what would have happened if the gate were as yet unlocked when he reached.
At 14 years, The Daughter was taking public transport in the day. I made sure I fetched her home from anywhere she was, after dark. I once got upset at a male teacher who insisted that she stay out at school up to 11.30 pm. I was waiting in the carpark and the nearer it got to midnight, the more sleepy (and angry) I became. I was furious. Did the teacher seriously expect my 15 year old to go home after midnight all by herself?
Even during the day, I insisted that she was not allowed to take the lift up to our HDB flat by herself. Eventually, it was simply too stressful for me to worry about her safety. So, we gave up the 2000 sq ft HDB flat that I loved, and moved into a smaller penthouse duplex with security guards.
Through those years, I coached The Daughter on how to keep herself safe. Stay away from pubs and nightclubs. Text me the number of any taxi she may be taking. Reach home before 11 pm at night. Do not take lifts with strangers. I made her take the stairs of HDB flats if she had no escort. The stairs were open and the opposite block could see everything on the stairs. Thus, it was safer than the lift. I read with her newspaper reports of girls who suffered rape and molestation, and talked her through each one, like a case study. I talked her through the dangers of uploading her photos onto Facebook. She was close enough to me to talk to me about the boys she knew.
Once, when I arrived to drop her at a friend's house for a project meeting, I discovered that the friend's father was alone in the house. I refused to drop my daughter. When she started work, I coached her on how to discourage sexual harassment. Now, she is a fully grown woman, with her wits about her and a relationship with a good man. Nothing untoward has happened to her. I have protected my daughter and kept her safe. She has not had to endure any trauma.
It has been a long journey. Girls are vulnerable to sexual exploitation and attack. It only needs to happen once to create trauma to last a lifetime. The teens are clueless about what is happening when it is happening. That is why mothers of teen girls need to work overtime. Once the girls reach their 20s, they develop more alertness and street smartness.
From the age of 9 years old, I talked to her about what made a good husband. I pointed to men I had no respect for, and told her why they deserved no respect. I pointed to men I respected and also told her why they deserved respect. That foundation has helped her pick a good partner who values, cherishes and respects her.
It is now her turn to give ME an earful when I venture out to Chong Pang Market. It is a sleazy place with uncouth men, she says. It is now her turn to choose a property to buy that will be safe for any daughter she might give birth to. And thus, there will be 2 dragon ladies watching over any young girl born into our family.