Are You Happy?

I was upstairs when I overheard M ask Pistachio tenderly, "Are you happy?"

I was startled. Then it dawned on me that I regularly ask M whether she is happy. In fact, I have for years, been regularly asking every member of my family whether they are happy. I do my utmost to chase away anything that might destroy the calm, the joy and the harmony in the family.

If anything makes anyone unhappy, a judgment call is made to decide what to do to bring happiness back. Sometimes, it is because someone brought his/her bad temper home from work. At other times, someone else is unnecessarily jealous. Yet at other times, another person is unhappy because feeling entitled. Yet other times, the person is genuinely aggrieved and someone has to make amends. Sometimes, that person is me, or another.

Like dust, these little motes of unhappiness collect in the home. I do the chore of dusting away these emotions to maintain a clean emotional environment at home.

This does not mean that we sweep unhappiness under the carpet and pretend it isn't there. We don't hide our unhappiness. We address it and bring joy back into the home.

I explained this family discipline to The Son's girlfriend. She said, "Oh! He often asks me whether I am happy, too!"

I am glad that I have started this habit in my children. Hopefully, this habit of caring whether a loved on is happy will cascade through my future generations, and bring them joy every day of their lives. You see, if every member of the family cares about others' happiness on a daily basis, then everyone will give in, give way, do things for each other. No one will be entitled. No one will exploit another, as is wont to happen in many families.

I exist to make my family happy. They also exist to make me happy. These days, even my taciturn and un-expressive husband sometimes asks me, "Are you happy?"