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Friday, June 4, 2021

What Pistachio Wants...

 ... Pistachio gets.

My little dog is formidable. Even though I know that dogs come along with distinct personalities, Pistachio really is one of a kind. 


The One With The Seaweed Laver

After dinner, I opened up a packet of seaweed lavers. Pistachio sat in front of me, looking up with those adorable eyes. I was about to give him some when M cleared her throat and mumbled something about too much salt. So, I lured Pistachio out of my room with a sheet of seaweed laver. Then, I closed the door in his face.

He sat outside for a while, staring up at my room door.

For the rest of the evening, he would not let me carry him.


The One With The Pork Ribs

I asked for dinner to be brought up to my room. Pistachio came along with the tray, staring intently at it. Pork ribs fresh from the oven: what's not to like? I did not want to risk offending my dog again. So, I asked M to carry him back downstairs. 

He moped about downstairs, played half-heartedly. Then, he refused to eat his dinner. It had pork ribs in it. It had the same pork ribs that I had eaten earlier. He padded about his food bowl. Then, he flounced down in a depressed heap. M gave up and went to shower. Pistachio sat on the sofa in The Daughter's room, eyes staring fixedly across the doorway at my door.

The Daughter was perplexed at his behaviour. He would not look at her. He did not lie down and relax as he normally does. He sat bolt upright on the edge of the sofa staring daggers at my bedroom door. I heard some discussion outside my door and I came out to investigate. I quickly figured out that my 5 litre dog with a 10 tonne personality was offended again. He was sulking and refusing his dinner because he was mad at me.

So it was that I arranged for M to bring up a small plate with a bit of pork rib. I sat at the coffee table in my bedroom and pretended to eat a 2nd dinner, all whilst handfeeding Pistachio. His tail went up. He started smiling. We then tried inviting him downstairs to finish his own dinner. He followed M halfway down the stairs. Then, he waited.

M brought up his food bowl, placed it under my coffee table and Pistachio ate every bite.

Apparently, Pistachio has decided that the kitchen is no place for a Pistachio to eat dinner. Like me, Pistachio must have dinner upstairs.


The One With M's Room

I had designated a cushion outside my room for Pistachio to lay his weary head at night. It was not long before M secretly smuggled my dog into her bedroom. I threw a fit and said that Pistachio needed to get some discipline. I ordered that Pistachio would be fed nothing if he refused to eat from his bowl in the kitchen.

It turns out that I am no match for my dog. He now eats dinner upstairs everyday AND he believes M's room belongs to him.

How? I mean how? How did I lose to a dog?


The One With The Wrong Duck Rice

A new braised duck rice opened across the road. It was so convenient that I decided to try it out. The real test was Pistachio. When I come home with packets of duck rice from Chuan Kee Boneless Braised Duck, Pistachio paws at me. He licks the bowl clean of every grain of rice from Chuan Kee. The stall opposite did not pass muster. Pistachio sniffed and walked away from his bowl. Then, he laid down on the floor laconically, as if to say, "Don't try and bluff me with this imitation braised duck rice.

Did I say that Chuan Kee Boneless Braised Duck is on the Michelin Bib Gourmand list? How does Pistachio know?


An Imperial Concubine Reincarnated

I cannot help but think that Pistachio must have been some sort of 楊貴妃 in a previous life. He has an affinity for fine food and good living. He also is extraordinary in his determination to charm all the men that walk into the house from The Husband to our muay thai trainer to the Papas that I coach.


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