Years ago, I had a heated exchange with a man who sneezed onto my neck just as I was queuing up at The Guardian Pharmacy. I explained to him that he should sneeze into his hands. When I sneeze, I pick up the neckline of my t-shirt and sneeze directly onto my own bra. Absolutely no droplets fly out onto others.
Mrs. Snot
This morning, a lady in her 60s sat next to me as I drank my teh si kosong. She sneezed loudly into the air beside me. Reflexively, in these troubled times, I recoiled, sat further away and moved my cup. At that, Mrs Snot Dispenser looked at me and said, "What?! If you are scared to die, don't leave house?"
I retorted, "There are people dying of the flu. Please sneeze into your hands, in future."
The lady was even more aggressive in her retort. At this point, another lady chimed in, "Actually, next time you sneeze, please sneeze into your hands." She said this quite politely.
Mrs Snot Dispenser exploded into a tirade of abuse.
Then, I exploded. I took a deep breath, leaned over near Mrs Snot's face and let loose an explosive Ah Tchooooooo! right between her eyes. Her pupils dilated. She stopped her yelling and reached out a hand to smack my forehead.
I smiled and said, "Oh my! You hit me! I am going to call the police!"
The lady recoiled and sat silent. By then, I was really angry. Like the best of all Shakespearean actors standing at the centre of an Elizabethan stage, I gave vent to a moving soliloquy, with rising and falling intonation... in my best approximation of a preachy Confucian sage... or as, The Son would put in, in my Teacher-y Mother-y voice.
"You are soooooo old already. Yet, you have nooooooo manners at alllllll! It cannot be that you have eaten more salt than I have eaten rice but have absolutely none of the upbringing of a civilized person living in polite society. Hoooooooow can you sneeze like that without covering your mouth? Do you mean that whenever youuuuuuu step out of the house, other people must stay at home if they are afraid to die? Who are youuuuuuu? I cannot belieeeeeeeeve that you are soooooooo rude! Didn't your mother teach you manners? What kind of upbringing did you have?! You are not young. Surely, at your age, you would have accumulated some wisdom?"
I looked around at my audience, and repeated myself twice more in different words. By this time, everyone was staring balefully at Mrs Snot.
Thankfully, all this happened behind a large pillar and my favourite braised pork guys saw nothing and heard nothing. They did not see how I metamorphosed from a gentle, smiling and soft spoken lady into a 10 foot tall virago, sword in hand and mouth breathing fire. They already think very poorly of me, but at least they think I am gentle and kind. If they had seen my virago side, they will think... (1) does not work (2) cannot cook (3) can't make conversation and (4) bad tempered.
I commented so to The Husband who said, "Aiya! It is a matter of time before they discover what a bitch you are." Oh bless The Husband's heart, he knows I am a bitch and he still loves me!
Only Allergy
One parent remonstrated with me about requiring a Dr.'s memo stating that her child was only allergic, instead of contagious. People always say that autistic people lack empathy but the way I see it, normal people lack empathy too! In the end, I proposed to this parent, "The next time, I get a slightly sniffly child, I will team him/her with your daughter. You will probably not mind, even if there is no doctor's note stating anything."
The Husband came home sniffly and did not bother to wear a mask. He was adamant that it was merely an allergy.
On Facebook, a lady with plenty of friends and who is normally very kind and gracious, posted, "I sneezed and the uncle next to me moved away. I wanted to tell him, "Never mind lah... It is only an allergy. If you move some more, you will fall off the chair."
These are all neurotypical people. Why don't they have empathy? Sniffly is sniffly. Nobody can know whether your snot is contagious or merely allergic.
Only Sick People Need To Wear Mask
Theoretically, this is good advice. In practice, sick people often do not have enough empathy to feel for those around them. They sniffle and sneeze but do not wear masks. Singaporeans seem to believe that others should share in the snot droplets they dispense, simply because...
- they are not that sick
- they are allergic
Even if you are not contagious, you should not foist your mucous onto others', right?
I know the government says (and it is good advice) that well people need not wear mask. However, if ill people cannot be trusted to mask up, then well people will have to. No?
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