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Monday, June 24, 2019

How To Garden Like A Pro

M's bottle gourd.


I discovered that the way to garden like a pro is to leave it all to M. So, my duties as a gardener are now to wake up every morning and point to all M's plants and make the appropriate sounds.

- Wow! The bottle gourd is so big now!
- Oh look! The turnips are growing fast!
- The fig tree looks happy in its new spot.
- What a bountiful harvest of long beans!

Sometimes, I forget to do my duty and M will come to me to fish for compliments.

- Have you seen the bottle gourd?
- Look at the turnips!
- There are fruits on the fig tree.
- I have just cut some long beans.

Then, I put down whatever I am doing to accompany M into the garden so that I can find nice things to say about the plants. Everyday, I do this. Dear readers, that is my secret to gardening like a pro. I nurture the person who nurtures my garden.

 In any case, given M's character and intelligence, it is just much easier for me to let her have her way in the garden.  M is bossy. It is hard for me to boss her around. It is also hard for M to control herself from bossing me around. So, if she signals that she wants to take charge of something around the house, I will cede the territory to her. That way, there is no conflict.

M and I did have a minor tussle over the garden though. There was a time when I did things in the garden: apply fertiliser, spray diluted milk, plant seeds. M observed me for 6 months and learnt my rhythms. Then, her lively and practical intelligence kicked in. She started having ideas on how to do things better. Instead of telling me, she would wake up earlier to implement her ideas. I then started waking up even earlier to get some piece of garden action. She countered by waking up even earlier. By the time I picked up the spray, M said, "I sprayed already." I reached out to open the cupboard and M said, "I fertilised already."

M won.

Then, M wanted seeds of some sort. I wasn't sure what exactly she wanted and so I dragged my feet. Before I knew it, she had activated her tight knit social network of cousins, aunts and uncles to get the vegetable seeds she wanted. That was how my garden got asparagus and bottle gourd. We also had a bit of a tussle over the soursop tree. She accused it of being a useless tree that would not fruit, and please can she have the pot the tree is in, to grow something else. I objected for a while and then, M still got her way.

She is very persistent.

M also bosses Milo around like nobody's business. The result is that our naughty dog has been tamed into willing submission. He now no longer runs out the gate whenever he can. He will look at M to get her permission first. When she is making milk kefir on cold and rainy mornings, she makes him sit at her feet to be her feet warmer.

I am not complaining though. Why complain when through no effort of my own, I can now garden like a pro? When you stand on the shoulders of giants, you can touch the sky. As far as domestic helpers go, I think M is a giant.



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