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Monday, April 30, 2018

The Banshee Scrappy Doo

The Husband worries that one fine day, I will come home from Giant Supermarket with one black eye. This is because (when shopping for groceries at Giant) I keep getting into scraps with huge men 1.5 heads taller than I.

Scrap Number 1
This man was like fat bear. For some reason, we both kept hanging out in the same aisles. In my first interaction with him, he was blocking the whole aisle. I stood there waiting for him to make way. He looked at me and continued blocking the way. So, I said, "Excuse me." Then, I made my way carefully past him whilst he stared at me.

In the next interaction, on another aisle, someone shoved me roughly to the side. I turned around and saw Irritating Fat Bear. Actually, I shouldn't call him a bear because bears are nice. This man was not nice.

Finally, the Irritating Fat IDunnoWhat queued behind me at the cashier's. There was a person in front of me and I was patiently waiting to be served. Before the other person had even paid up, Irritating Fat IDunnoWhat shoved at my cart and used his head in a rude chin up gesture, telling me to hurry up.

I blew up at him in loud strident tones, lecturing him on good manners and the virtues of patience. He was rather taken aback that something so small as I, had such a LOUD voice. Everyone was soon staring at him. I decided to get out of there before I ended up on STOMP.

I did it all in Chinese because the Irritating Fat IDunnoWhat had a thick PRC accent.


Scrap Number 2
This next one, was all done in English because the Irritating Skinny Beanpole was definitely Singaporean.

This gal (with a PRC accent) queued behind me sweetly and patiently. She was half a head shorter than even I am!  The Irritating Skinny Beanpole shoved her out of the way and yelled to the counter staff his order. The counter staff had not even finished serving me.

My heart went out to the Little Miss Shorty because hey... us shorties of the world must ARISE and stand up for shorty rights, no? I mean, there are just some things that tall Amazonian women like Diana Prince (aka Wonder Woman) will never experience. Men just don't shove Amazons out of their way but they do it to shorties all the time in Singapore.

So, I turned and glared at the Irritating Skinny Beanpole and then I loudly exclaimed to the counter staff, "The other lady came first."

That should have been all except that the Irritating Skinny Beanpole said, "It doesn't matter. It is just one person."

I blew up at him in loud strident tones, lecturing him on good manners and the virtues of patience. He was rather taken aback that something so small as I, had such a LOUD voice. The other lady was grinning. I decided to get out of there before I ended up on STOMP.

I think that if I had a superpower, it would really be my high pitched screeching voice. Men don't mess with Wonder Women. They should not mess with Banshees like me either! I might damage their ear drums.



2 comments:

Rachel Tan said...

I've recently discovered the joys and convenience of shopping at Amazon Prime (they deliver in 2 to 4 hours for free) and Fairprice On app :) Works very well when you have a helper at home to take deliveries. No more carting heavy groceries for me.

Petunia Lee said...

Sorry... I did not know there were comments on this post till now. I shop at Redmart but Giant is a 2 minute walk so I tend to go there for the fresh fruits and veggies.