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Friday, March 22, 2013

To the Thief Who Stole My Milo


There is a reason why our dog is called Milo. The Daughter and Little Boy love this drink made from malted barley and chocolate. On school sports days, the Milo van would appear at the sports stadium and give out free iced Milo to the children. When The Daughter speaks of the Milo van, her face radiates a sort of suppressed joy that brings to mind a crowd of little girls in pigtails waiting in the hot sun for their little cups of icy cold Milo.

So... I wasn't surprised when I discovered that The Daughter maintained a store of ready-to-drink Milo inside the shared fridge in her university lodgings. I WAS surprised at the depth of her misery when someone stole her small carton of Milo. She was so upset that to relieve the intensity of her feelings, she wrote the following poem. The Daughter is a gentle soul. This is about as violent as she is likely to be, even with words.



In all innocence one Friday night
I stored my Milo out of sight
I put it in the fridge to keep
Not knowing what would come of it
Two hours later I returned
Imagine my horror when I learnt
The gluttonous thief had struck again
The swinish nuisance has no shame
I imagine that you're just next door
Feasting on your stolen stores
Devouring my Milo in gulps not sips
And when you're done, licking your lips
But that alone is not nearly enough
You must return for more good stuff
So you twitch your hairy eager nose
For to you that fridge is never closed
 You're a pirate, a pilferer, and a punk
I hope someone cuts off your tongue
I hope someone stuffs you in an oven
An hour there might make you soften
I hope that your loot festers and rots
I hope that you get chicken pox
I know what you did that Friday night
And now I hope you feel contrite


10 comments:

Theanne said...

that is low...to steal a persons food...from their own refrigerator...in their own room! your daughter's poem is apt and I am happy that I could not have been the culprit!!

Theanne said...

excellent!!

Petunia Lee said...

Theanne - Hee... it was a shared fridge actually. Every floor of the building has a shared mini kitchen with a small fridge.

Blur Ting said...

She remains so cute when she's angry.

Leah said...

Is she going to stick this poem on the fridge? I can imagine the thief choking on the milo...haha!

Danny Boy said...

Once, in my boarding school, my room mate left his watermelon in the fridge. 20 minutes later, it was gone.

Danny Boy said...

Once my roommate left his watermelon in the fridge. 20 minutes later, it was gone..

Petunia Lee said...

Ting - :-)

Petunia Lee said...

Leah - No... she didn't. Too gentle lah... this one.

Petunia Lee said...

Danny Boy - Ohhh... sorry to hear that.