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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Book on Dog Motivation?

The thing about becoming a published book author is that people take one look at your book and think... hmmmm... this is a rather nice book, BUT it isn't quite customised to me. I've so far received requests for the following books...

- Write me a book for Working Moms to Motivate in the Little Time We Have.
- Write me a book to Motivate my Husband to WANT to Be Nice to Me
- Write me a book to Motivate My Teen to WANT to Study
- Write me a book to Motivate Babies
- Write me a book on Dog Motivation

I kid you not. At one time or other, after reading Petunia's book (and sometimes, after only examining the book cover) people have suggested all the above in seriousness. Yes, yes... no joke... not even the one on Dog Motivation. Even after knowing WHO Milo is, WHAT he is capable of and HOW bad I am at getting Milo to behave like a human, I have been asked to write a book on Dog Motivation.

The book for Working Moms is quite do-able, so I will mull over that idea.

The one on Motivating Husbands to WANT to Be Nice to Me is VERY VERY VERY do-able BUT somehow I don't think The Husband will appreciate my releasing details to the whole world on how I weave my Soft Wifely Spells of Motivation around him. If I do write that book, I might have to write a sequel - How To Turn A Husband Into An Ex. I can perhaps write the book, Motivating Husbands to WANT to Be Nice to Me, and have it published posthumously... after we both have had a good kick of the bucket. Then, people can laugh all they want and we would both be too dead to care. Besides, like I always tell The Husband, there are things wives (even wives with a PhD in Human Motivation) simply despair of ever getting husbands to do (or stop doing) unless it were possible to use mild electric shocks on the husband you have promised to cherish and to hold.

The book on motivating babies would be rather short I think. A baby just lies there - sleeps, poops, cries and feeds. If you wanna motivate the baby to lie there, don't pick him up. If you wanna motivate a baby to eat, wait till he's hungry and then give him a bottle. If you wanna motivate a baby to poop, wait 4 hours after the bottle. If you want the baby to cry because you wanna know if it's still alive, pinch him. If you want the baby to fall asleep - hmmmmm... now this one... I dunno... I have nightmares about putting my own kids to sleep. Hence, I sorta feel I have absolutely no moral authority to write about motivating babies to sleep.

Now... the book on Motivating Teens to Want to Study... the spirit is willing but the first Petunia's Book was such hard work. It was much harder than I thought. So, instead of writing that book, maybe I'll just put up a blogpost sharing my journey with The Daughter.

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