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Friday, July 23, 2010

Baby! It Doesn't Flood in Woodlands!!

I don't understand why people's eyes go unfocused when I tell them I live in Woodlands. What's wrong with Woodlands?In an age of global warming (strong winds and nonstop rain), Woodlands oughta be the IN place to be. It oughta be the CHIC zone and the COOL spot. It should be moving UPmarket.

Here is why.

Underneath Woodlands and Sembawang, there are kilometres of solid granite. When all of Singapore went gaga over some earthquakes, only the aquarium fish in Woodlands got any thrill from the experience. In Woodlands, we don't flood even though in Singapore, it never rains but it pours. In Woodlands, the air is so dry that Mediterranean herbs thrive. Come live in Woodlands and experience the Cote d'Azur climate without leaving the country!!

But... but... but... people suddenly go shifty eyed when I tell them I stay in Woodlands. It's like they won't let me into the windows of their souls because then their true thoughts will spill out and hurt my feelings.I know these thoughts well.

Woodlands is too far. Woodlands is so near the crowded Causeway. Woodlands has no good schools (of any repute).

Woodlands is too far? Oh poppycock! In these days of CTE and SLE andBKE and PIE and KJE, I can make it to Orchard Road in 25 minutes flat without busting the speed limit, and I can actually CHOOSE from 3 different routes. So, for Woodlands folk, traffic jams are something Singaporeans somewhere far away experience - not us. It is rare that all 3 highways down to town have an accident pile-up. There is always one that isn't jammed. Choose wisely and chances are, you'll get there earlier than your friends who stay in Novena.

And then, get this! One hardly has to pay ERP because the roads are so wide and uncongested that the government won't spend SGD1 million on a gantry to earn ERP from so few cars.

Woodlands is near the crowded Causeway? Crowds? What crowds? I never see 'em. The only crowds that I see are those Singaporeans crowding over to JB every weekend so that SGD100/= buys twice the amount of groceries than at NTUC. In Woodlands, we earn in Singapore and shop in JB. Here in Woodlands, our purchasing power is above parity compared to other Singaporeans.

Woodlands has no good primary schools of any repute. If you bother to go to the MRT stations at 6.15 am in the morning, you will see plenty of youths wearing Raffles Institution, Raffles Girls', Hwa Chong Institution and Nanyang Girls' High uniforms. Now, you tell me how these kids got into those premier secondary schools if Woodlands neighbourhood schools aren't any good? Sure... Woodlands schools haven't got the centuries old tradition but hey, old isn't always better. Some of the Woodlands primary schools are very avant-garde in their approach. The Daughter and Little Boy went to the PAP kindergarten and were already involved in themed play learning way before that became fashionable on the preschool scene.

And very few people actually know that Sembawang beach (10 minutes away) is a relatively uncrowded beach where you can fish, crab, pick shellfish and cycle. Here in Woodlands we have sun, sea and beach... no floods... cheap shopping, good schools and crisp dry air. What's not to like?

But well... I just know that the next time I am asked where I stay, I will reply bright-eyed and bushy-tailed happy "I live in Woodlands and hang out in Sembawang!"... and the person will go shifty-eyed on me AGAIN!

The truth is, people tend to hang on to some beliefs despite facts that yell otherwise. Most people grow up thinking that Woodlands is UN-chic and UN-cool. Which really makes me wonder why the cool chic places of Singapore like the East and Bukit Timah also happen to be built-on marshy water-logged land. Where is the logic in that?

But I suppose I should be glad because if Woodlands were chic, I couldn't afford to stay here in a 2-storey penthouse overlooking a picturesque park and feel warm dry Mediterranean winds blow through my hair.

Nope... I am not selling the penthouse. Yet.

Let me tell you. The best is yet to be. As the heavens pour forth bountiful floods, people will realize that Woodlands is the place to be. It may take years (and more floods) but smart people (with lotsa money) will catch on plenty fast.

THEN I will sell the penthouse and move to another UN-chic area. Maybe ummmm... Orchard Road?


Fresh Fry aka 福星 said...

will NOW consider Woodlands when its time to buy my own pad. u should be a property agent. kekeke..... =P

on the end note, i live in Bukit Panjang and peeps roll their eyes saying it's ulu. i love the thick foresty like plant growth behind my block lor, really fresh grassy aroma everytime we get rain. negative ions galore! *WIDE GRIN*

and yes, this family pad is cheeeep. hehehe.....

petunialee said...

Nah... just a cheap thrill for Petunia this time after years of living in an UN-chic neighbourhood! Mwahahahahahahaha!

T S said...

I like the beautiful maple leave background of your blog. It reminded me of the falling leaves in my yard during autumn.

Yes, I agree with you that Woodlands can be a nice neighborhood. Good neighborhoods are formed by the people living in them.

If I consider buying a property in Singapore, I will certainly consider your musings of Woodlands.


petunialee said...

T S - That is a plenty nice thing to say!! Welcome to the neighbourhood! Maybe!!

Blur Ting said...

Can you imagine what it is like to live in a farm?! People think my folks are weather-beaten country bumpkins who spit into a spittoon. Roll eyes.

petunialee said...

Ting - Good grief!! People actually say that? How rude! It's funny how people can get so wrapped up by appearances huh? Though I reckon that Farmers are coming back in fashion no? Only the best have survived till now... and when all that's left of the industry is the best (brains and character), then it's hard to look down on them.

Still people don't always see that all that glitters is not gold. Gilded tombs do worms enfold.

And judging by the number of happy doggies at the farm, your folks have hearts of pure gold.

Blur Ting said...

They don't actually say that but I know what they're thinking in their head. Many are quite shocked and embarrased when they realise they parents are well mannered and educated. My grandparents' belief in giving them an education shows great foresight and fairness. My mum was one of the top students in her school. I am so proud of my folks.

petunialee said...

Wow... top student. No wonder your folks have survived as farmers well into the new century!! You really do have wonderful folks... I wish...