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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Behold Petunia's Brew!

80 litres of worm tea... well, I don't know whether it is properly worm tea. Perhaps I should just call it Petunia's Brew. It is really something My Brew!

I filled a large black garbage pail with water, threw in generous fistfuls chicken shit, worm shit, 6 tablespoons of sugar and one third of a can of evaporated milk. I put the lid on and patiently waited 3 days. I uncovered it this morning... and boy oh boy! It looked like a sarsi vanilla ice cream float but it sure didn't smell like one.

The approach was perilous even for an intrepid gardener such as I! One had to duck the occasional bursting bubbles that sent noxious vapours into one's face. I begin to wonder if garden-friendly bacteria is any good for the complexion because I was practically steaming my face in those fumes.

I am quite sure that students in the school opposite sniffed the air wondering whether a chemical plant nearby had experienced mishap. I once drove in front of a tuna processing plant in Mauritius which needed to get rid of rotting fish waste (heads and tails and innards and all) on a daily basis... This was nowhere near that. It was much worse.

I guess I was over enthousiastic. The Husband could only sigh and shake his head for he knows that his beloved Wife does all in abundance. Love in abundance. Cook in abundance. And of course, brew Petunia's Brew in abundance. Being ever the intrepid gardener, I braved the fumes and watered every pot in my garden. Normally, I stick around to see if the plant smiles its thanks at me... but not today. It was more like scoot over, water the pot and scoot off. Scooting quite fast too!

Little Boy has a way with words. He explained the situation thus: "If you spill just a little drop of it on your t-shirt and walk through the house, you will leave a trail of smelly air!!" In other words, this is perfume... with top notes from a cesspit and bottom notes of vomit.

I have 40 litres left to use. No! I ain't throwing it away. I will feed it to my plants and suffer another day. This ain't beating me! But that's absolutely the LAST time I make 80 litres of worm tea.

1 comment:

Petunia Lee said...

Ting, I dare not. I was afraid the condo management would haul me up to explain why I was maintaining a cesspit there!